Now Hiring: Girly Posse

Oh, friends…

I’m a mess. You know that, right? Anyway, when I haven’t been getting lost in the middle of unknown territory or engaging in other kinds of shenanigans, I’ve been having these periods of self-reflection. During these times, I get nice and silent, and I sit up in my thinking chair and think… think… think…

Wait, that’s Blue. She wouldn’t appreciate me jacking her thinking song.

Back off, Beez. 

So, where was I? Ahh, yes… the thinking. Since I have a lot of time on my hands, I’ve been offering this time for figuring out some things. Things about myself I like, things about myself I don’t like, things about myself that I just “meh!” about… plenty of things fall into that last category. Most recently, though, I finally came to this conclusion:

I am a “different” girl.

What, pray tell, do I mean by that? I’ve just noticed, that in the time it’s taken me to reach a quarter century of living, Beez has not been taught some of the finer points of femininity. Let’s be honest though… Beez hasn’t been really checking for it all too much, either. Blame my older sister (that doesn’t exist).

I’m so backwards, y’all. I’d rather slip on a pair of custom Chuck Taylor’s than teeter-totter in 85 inch stilettos.  Instead of talking about (well, for me, it’s more of listening) how men are crazy, stupid, blind, or whatever derogatory adjective you can find, I’d rather be playing Zelda. Instead of dressing up in frilly things that show off my best assets, I’d rather wear something comfortable, functional, and if it shows off anything, fine. If not, still fine. Apparently, that means I have so much to learn.

Mama Beez was pretty keen on keeping me covered and smothered until the years that would prove whether she drove me straight to #HoIsh or not. Her goal was to keep me sans child during my teenage years. Turns out, when unleashed to the world, I wasn’t all that bad. By then, I decided that khakis and polos weren’t all that bad, and for certain occasions, you had to about beat me to wear a dress. Even now the only ‘make up’ I wear is lip gloss, and that’s only because of the functionality it provides.  Smithers (if he had a blog… we’re working on it) could tell you about the time I freaked out in a dressing room trying to find something ‘womanly’ for my college graduation. That ranks in my ‘worst moments ever’ list after being lost in Chicago, being lost in Tokyo, being stuck in Chicago, and that one day I overslept and the world kept going on…

I’ve never liked shopping much, at least for myself. If I’m not doing it online, I don’t have the patience for it. I only shop when I need to, meaning “Oh, my pants have a hole in it. Time for new jeans.” Figuring color combinations, cuts, and figuring out whether I have to pay for a garment then pay someone to make it fit me right… these things set a fear in me that could rival the fear one has of flying, heights, fire, or Richard Simmons. I hate the redundancy of trying on things multiple times. I abhor the strategy of looking online first, then showing up to the store only to find out that your *insert product here* was sold. Add to that the prospect of doing it alone (which I dislike) or doing it with someone who’s overly enthusiastic about seeing your legs in a dress (which I may dislike more), and heck, you’ll see why I’d rather stay home. Simply put, retail therapy would send me to the nut house.

I’ve had some success here and there with my dabbling in girly things. I bought a couple of dresses for recent events that didn’t look like potato sacks. I do (try to) keep up on the eyebrow maintenance– times is hard, and my tweeze hand isn’t the strongest, but I’m working on it. Every once in a while, I’ll even wear eyeliner or gloss. I’ve been trying to work on some kind of daily ‘look,’ but my life and its inconsistencies play a huge part in that.

Where does this come from? Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t like spending money I don’t have on things I won’t continue. I don’t have a network of girlyfolk who swap and trade things they don’t like (do y’all do this? If not, you should- saves throwing it away!). I think I need a mentor. In girl-ness. Someone to teach me to walk in heels I probably will never wear, pluck things I’ve never plucked, and get excited for things that previously ground my gears. Show me colors that work with me. Explain what ‘warm’ and ‘cool’ mean. Keep in mind, you’re going to need to not make this feel like boot camp. Loving the heck out of me is appreciated, yet unnecessary.

Is Fran Drescher busy? I’ve always wanted her to be my play aunt, and maybe she could teach me things. At least when she blathers on about Mr. Sheffield, it’s endearing. And short. I guess we could say it’s high time for a makeover. One step at a time.

My mind is everywhere, friends. Keep me in your thoughts.

Hugs and Sprinkles,
Beez

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I’m Still Working…

… on being a work of progress. (c). me

How are you folks? Doing good? Great!

Few updates for you all:

  • I own this space! Instead of “Beez and Honey,” we’re now going to go with “Beez & Hunny.” You can find me in the webz at http://www.beezandhunny.com
  • Because of the domain change, I wanted to design a new layout and such, but CSS is kicking my butt with a cleat and I ain’t have time for all that pretty darn difficult, so I’m going to try a few other ones for a bit, until I find one that really works for me. 
  • I start grad school one week from today! Yep, that happened fast. You’ll see me holy dancing across the stage soon enough, in 2012 or so. We’ll see how fast they let me. 
  • I plan on moving before the end of the year, to a big city that’s not too far from where I am now. Considering that there are about 3 or 4 cities within a 200 mile radius, there’s a few ways this guessing game could go. This change is mostly for pursuing a career. I want to get into more nonprofit work, and eventually into nonprofit management/consulting. Positioning myself in a place with more opportunities, uh… just makes sense. 

I’m falling over in my soup about now, and don’t have much of a ponytail to tie my head to the wall. I leave you all with well wishes, and let me know how things are going in your neck of the woods, too!

Love and Sprinkles,
Beez

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Day 2 of The Shred (aka “ouch”)

To conserve energy, I’ve resorted to crawling or dragging myself around the house.

This SO better be worth it, yo, or Imma go to Ms. Michaels’ place of residence like Stewie did Will Ferrell after seeing the “Bewitched” movie.

Scratch what I said yesterday about it “hurts so good.” This ish just hurts. Muscles I didn’t even know I had, like the armpit… what do you call those anyway, and most importantly, how do you work those out?

I also pulled my right shoulder. After the workout, during the stretch part.

All in all, I actually made it through without stopping this time, so perhaps Beez 2.0 is coming sooner than we thought. I’ll try and give the full 30 days a go, even with the running. Either that or I’ll be crumpled in my living room in about 28 days. We’ll see.

–Beez

P.S.- Ouchie ouchie. Ouch, ouch ouch. Grr.

Day 2 of 30: Done-zo.

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Shredding for a Day and I Feel Like a Pro…

… I’m lying.

For those of you not familiar with the “Shred”especially since I just found out about it 2 weeks ago, I’ll offer a brief intro: “30 Day Shred” is a workout series developed by Jillian Michaels of “The Biggest Loser” fame (never watched the show, so I don’t know much about her previous works). In this series, you do circuit training, that is, 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, and 1 minute of abs for 20 minutes at a time, and in 30 days, you’ll be shredded (or looking like you belong on Mary Murphy’s “Hot Tamale Train” by looks alone).

There are 3 levels of workouts, each designed to be done for about 10 days. Since I’m doing C25K also, I figure I can do that as usual on MWF, and shred a little on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’m still a beginner, so easing back into this whole “being active” thing is kind of rough. Jillian does offer some nice one liners though, in the form of motivation- Prime Example, during butt kicks, she asks her demonstrator “You’re literally kicking yourself in the a$*, huh?” I keeled over, not expecting it.

Source of the “very real” pain in my arse. Hurts so good.

Anyway, my first experience with the 30 Day Shred wasn’t all that bad. I couldn’t find my inhaler, so I did find myself winded for a bit, and I got cramps on the outside of my soles again during some of the cardio (note: does anyone know how to prevent this, besides resting? Either I’m putting a lot of stress on my feet from going to chair potato to Active Annie, or my feet need more people.) Usually, a stop for longer than the 5 seconds Jillian encourages as a maximum to catch your breath helped me out. Other than that, I just started with the supreme goal to just finish today, and that I did. The strength moves emphaized the fact that I have no upper body strength (Stoopid girly arms), so my goal is to do a set of “real life” push ups by the time I’m done.

Now that it’s over, I feel a little ache in my front thighs (I know they’re called quads, but front thighs just works better for me, mmkay? ‘Kay.), and when I started a fb chat with my friend, I noticed my fingertips were kind of shaky. So far, it hurts so good, and I can hopefully keep it up. Had a spinach salad with raspberry vinaigrette afterward, so maybe it’s not so bad. Hope that you all will pray for my strength (and my ridiculously weak arms) for the next month or so! Also, if you know anyone who has some tips for those foot cramps, have their people call my people. I’d greatly appreciate it! 🙂

Hope you all enjoy your (almost) weekend!

–Beez

Day 1 of 30: Done

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