Chain of Fools

In the digital world, fast is the only word that matters. We want our news fast. Our e-mails fast. Our movie tickets, restaurant reviews, IMs, and television shows streamed- fast, fast, fast, fast. With access to endless gadgets to satisfy our lust for knowledge, we often unknowingly enter a race where ‘first’ isn’t always the desired place.

Just say, “NO.” to chains. Do it in separate languages if needed.

Enter the chain letter. Ever since we can remember, our online identities have encountered them. They range from the messages of hope and inspiration made to brighten your day to the Sent to everyone on your aunt’s (or mom’s) email address book, as a 15 part text message forwarded from China, and even our social networks. Bad grammar aside, we take these messages for what they’re worth (I mean, it came from my first grade best friend!), and pass them on in fear of the consequences located near the end. There’s always a consequence. Someone likely falls victim to a chain message about every 1.8 seconds. Because I care, I will offer a couple of tips to make sure it isn’t you:

  • Got common sense? Use it. If Bill Gates wanted to pay 5 cents for every email sent in the name of Insert Sick Kiddington, he’d probably go for something a bit grander than an email whose origin can’t be found. If Mark Zuckerberg wanted to introduce some kind of pricing structure for Facebook, he wouldn’t rely on a bunch of people to spread the word and make your profile change color just to prove you did it. Not when he has access to your personal contact information, favorite movies and music, and brand preferences.
  • Doesn’t sound right? Fact-check it. When you come across the latest rumor on your smartphone, tablet, or netbook, why not perform a quick search to check the legitimacy before just copying and pasting? The latest Facebook rumor started with the words “it was even on the news.” Whose news? Where is the proof?  Google is your friend. Snopes is your friend. Bookmark them on your fancy gadgets and race to know the truth before you post blindly. 
  • Is it in all caps? Probably a bust. No grownup should use all capital letters when relaying a message that’s meant to be taken seriously. Traditionally, an all caps message meant the sender is yelling at you, but today, it’s likely not the case. Something about any text written in all capitals makes me want to automatically skip over it, convinced the sender hates me from head to . The same could be said for horrible grammar, nonexistent punctuation, and the Comic Sans typeface.  

When all else fails, you can just say no to the chain. That little girl’s ghost WILL NOT haunt you at 11:11 if you don’t forward. Your true love WILL NOT suddenly awaken from a stupor and make your world a happily ever after one. Long lost Nigerian relatives DO NOT have a sudden fortune bequeathed to you solely. Surprisingly, the world continues to go on as if these outcomes have no impact. Perhaps the world is onto something.

You know what, though? The chain can end with you. Stop the foolishness.

Don’t Be a Link to the Chain(s),

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It’s Friday So Laugh: The Literal Video

Happy Friday!

Almost the weekend for those of us behind desks, in cubicles, or roaming coffee shops for free Wi-Fi. I know most of you are counting down the hours, minutes, seconds, and heartbeats until your weekend begins. Most of you are already mentally clocked out of work, and looking for activities to bide your time. If you’re in the mood for a laugh, I present for approval of the Hive Dwellers (that’s y’all!), the literal video.

What is a literal video, Beez? you ask. Well, it’s a trend I found on YouTube that basically highlights the truth that often, music videos have nothing to do with the songs. The makers of these videos then superimpose lyrics of what’s actually happening in the video (stage and camera direction included) to the tune of the original song, and laughs are had by all. Or just me. So here, I’ll introduce you to some of my favorites. No particular order.

10 “Take On Me”- A Ha
The creator of this video apparently started the trend with it. I am forever thankful to this person.

9 “Total Eclipse of the Heart”– Bonnie Tyler **Embedding’s disabled, so you’ll have to click the link**
What kind of private school would let in these kind of guys? It started off as Hogwarts, now it’s Lord of the Flies!

8 “Love Is A Battlefield” Pat Benetar
Just wait for the choreography scene.

7 “Ghostbusters” Ray Parker
Yes, the movie theme. My only gripe is the sound is a little faint at times. Or through the whole thing.

6 “Sex and Candy” Marcy Playground
The voice is pretty accurate… I need more ‘mmmmb’s, though.

5 “Just a Friend” Biz Markie
Even works for rap videos, where your butlers walk with gangsta leans.

4 “Hello” Lionel Richie
Way to highlight the stalker aspects of this video.

3 “Fireflies” Owl City
I know a lot of folks hated this song, but I find it special. Love the literal video being frustrated with pacing.

2 “I Wanna Sex You Up” Color Me Badd
I think part of what makes it funny is the horrible singing. Pelvic thrust, right jab, Sosa.

1 “Billie Jean” Michael Jackson
I’m sure you know if there was a Thrillermaker video made, I was including this on the list, right? This was actually the first one I ever saw, and alerted me to the trend. Duh-nuh. Elbow dance!

So, what do you think? Will the literal versions of these songs be stuck in your head like they are in mine? Which is your favorite? If you have any favorites not on the list, feel free to share.

Happy Weekend!

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Rebecca Black: Challenge Accepted.

First of all, if you don’t know anything about Rebecca Black, or the ear-slicing known as “Friday,” I implore you to click here and here for my e-twin Cheekie’s play-by-play, and IAmYourPeople’s message to parents who put their kids through that hot bewl. When you’re up to speed, come back, and I’ll set the scene.

*looks at watch*
*does the chicken noodle soup*
*scratches nose*

Okay, you’re back? Great! So, I was scrolling Tumblr the other night, when I saw a post titled Rebecca Black Challenge. It appeared that the challenge was to look at a YouTube video, which turned out to be a horrible dub of Black’s “Friday,” and see how long one could last without laughing. I saw comments of mostly people who couldn’t last a minute, and I decided that this was a challenge best suited for my webcam. Taking a cue from ragetunes, I became the “Challenge Accepted” guy, and got geared up.

Below are my results. I didn’t have a voice, but that didn’t stop shenanigans from making its way in my life.

*sigh* The things I do for foolishness. Anyway, fair folks, have you ever seen or heard of Rebecca Black before now? Did you take the challenge? If so… how long did you fare?

Love you guys!


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Tribute to the 90’s: The Most Horribly Awesome Decade of All. (Part 3)

This one’s pretty long, but stems from that SAME conversation… My goodness, we are pros at word/thought/idea association. We did reach an eye-opening revelation towards the end, though:

me: THIS.

Renisha:  OH MAH GAH!!!

me: I used to love me some Kel Mitchell.

Renisha:  is that who’s rapping? i used to LOOOOVE me some ROMEO!

me: I couldn’t mess with him and that eye. Much like Musiq soulchild.

Renisha:  yes

me: My friend used to collect all them posters from Word Up! Magazine. And when she got over her obsession, she sold them for a quarter. When you consider how much that mag cost. she was BANKING on them posters

Renisha:  why they got they shirts open with a shirt AND a jacket on? EL DEE BEE didn’t get NO camera time

me: immature stayed dressing like some rebellious vagabonds. i used to forget el dee bee was part of the group

Renisha:  they liked plaid

me: i feel like he was the ‘spare bish’ of the group, only to make a batman/romeo duo less awkward.  he ain’t get no solos or NUFFIN.

Renisha:  NOTHIN!  not a rap or NO-THING!

me: he didn’t even get to DRUM! useless a*s name they gave him

Renisha:  RIGHT!

me: they flooding HOARD dinner mug in this video! with no socks!!  LMAOOOOO

Renisha:  CHILE!

 me: I forgot this was when Romeo had that unfortunate perm. hurr just swanging

 Renisha:  and then the little dance breakdown they got on them WHITE socks


 Renisha:  chile….  YUP!   

 me: i. am. dying.  Kel… swoon

Renisha:  i can’t take this any longer  omg…my side hurts!

me: I’m burning calories i ain’t even put in. now on to we got it:  we don’t know what they got, doe.  peek a boo v-necks. i cannot

Renisha:  chile…   these dance moves

me: how the band know the sheet music, doe?
i never understood that in any video?  you just show up relatively unknown, yet the band just knows what song you gon’ wanna sing?

Renisha:  these outfits chile…  YELLOW PANTS THO!?

 me: i can’t with this MC lyte doppelganger… then the whole nursing home erupts in dance? o_O

Renisha:  i am CRACKIN up!

me: it’s like this scene from good burger:

how  they just all know the moves?

 Renisha:  RIGHT!!!!


 I’m so mad at the uploaders comment on this. The other comments, too!  LMAOOOOOO!! **note, comments were found on the video posted here, but they didn’t wanna let me embed, so… *shrug* **

Renisha:  h*ll nawl!

me: “Romeo had a d*mn bob”


me: Romeo was a real life Mushmouth from Fat Albert

Renisha:  ERICA!!! I can barely type right now… how in ALL HELL did we like this??

me: LAWD!! I just… don ‘t know…  We were seriously misguided as youths. El Dee Bee was looking all malnourished about the head.   I’m gonna take a guess and say his perm didn’t take all the way

Renisha:  RIGHT!!! so they just shaved his stuff off.   ROMEO ain’t make NO SENSE during that verse.  i can’t understand a word he is sayin

me: They didn’t stick no lacefront or anything on him!

Renisha:  AT ALL

me: Just pushed him out there… “there ya go, baldy. Homies over h*es.” The song doesn’t make much sense.   I just… don’t know what I”m grooving for. They stayed on somebody’s rooftop dancing though

Renisha:  HOW…Erica? HOOOOWWW did we like this stuff?!!!  this is TERRIBLE

me: Terribly horrible

Renisha:  they couldn’t SING!  no vocal skills at ALL!

me: And they weren’t even THAT CUTE!   They were boys with press n curls! and sunglasses!

Renisha:  NOT CUTE AT ALL!!!

me: like some project Beatles.

Renisha:  but LOVED me some Romeo

me: And did anybody understand the reason behind the name change?

Renisha:  they changed it to ‘Mature’ right? or wait…  IMX or somethin like that…   DMX?

me: “Mature,” Renisha? death

Renisha:  chile…i dunno

With that said, the 90’s were indeed horribly awesome. Between subpar singing, oversized primary colored clothing, and El Dee Bee’s hatless head, these are the memories my youth is comprised of. This series… just might have to continue, though.

Love and Rooftop Dances,


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Tribute to the 90’s: The Most Horribly Awesome Decade of All. (Part 2)

Part 2 on me and Renisha’s look back into the 90’s. Part 1 can be found here

Renisha: crackin UP!
remember when they got a new girl – NOT michelle

me: Yep… she lasted the duration of that video shoot. po’ thang

Renisha: a week! LOL!

me: did she get pregnant and voted off the island or something?

Renisha: chile…i don’t even remember. what was her name?

me: shoot… ahownno. spare bish?

Renisha: WeNeed AnotherChick

me: kelly and this gahtdamb blue hair. marge simpson swag

Renisha: LOL!

me: they thought they was hitting that plie at the end too… what the heck was that?!

Renisha: LOL!!!

me: michelle had on her “Lawd, don’t let me fall to the wayside and have to go back to the welfare” face. spare bish on the other side had her ‘shank beyonce face”
high waisted pants + midriff baring shirts = fail

Renisha: LMBOOO!!!!

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Tribute to the 90’s: The Most Horribly Awesome Decade of All. (Part 1)


Let me just start off by saying this: If you didn’t grow up in or around the 90’s, you pretty much ain’t nothing. Millenials, you just missed out on everything that made the world turn: Nick, Snick, cheesy sitcoms with recycled characters, commercials that were relevant to the product being sold, REAL cartoons still in circulation… man, I could just go on and on, but the retrospective is bringing tears to my eyes. This all began with an epic gchat conversation between myself and Renisha, and oh my gosh, we just got to remmin… remun… thinking about old stuff. We begin with this gem:


Renisha: Why am i laughin SO HARD at this video?  look at their clothes!
 me: lawd!!!   how they change clothes mid chorus?
Renisha: i am CRYIN laughin right now  LOL!
me: That bald dude with the glasses…
 Renisha: LMBO!  you see Immature in the video???
 me: weighmint.   DID I SEE IMMATURE?!!  I was JUST about to say that!
 Renisha:OMG!!!! This is tumblr worthy!  gon’ head and post it
 me: LeToya and her thoia thoing dress on.   I just can… and can’t with the 90’s. all at once.
 Renisha: Kelly ain’t have NO BOOTEE!NONE!
 me: Not n’aan aat all
 Renisha: in them pleather pants!  iCan’t!
 me: was immature even old enough to be in the club just chillin like that?
 Renisha: Was Destiny’s child!? shooo
me: random lone couple grinding in the dark hallway = death
 Renisha:i am SO TICKLED right now My  eyes are watering SO BAD, tryin not to laugh outloud in this starbucks
me: I would have failed.
 Renisha:i’m sweatin
 me: Sometimes when the cackle comes thoo, you just gotta let it out
 Renisha: watches it again
 Renisha:why was latoya grindin on the wall by herself tho?  and them brown knickerbockers that other chick was wearin?  LAWD!! iCan’t!
me: Everything was right and wrong at the same time   We watching the video saying no, no, no, no, no. But we saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, too.

me: Why didn’t nobody say “go home, roger!” though? NOBODY in that club took advantage of that golden opportunity?
they all had on the same colored lipstick #makeupartistfail
  look at BeNONCE’s shoes?
me: and that dreadful lipliner
That was the era of “black girls lining their lips in black no matter what the occasion, season, or coordinating colors were.”
Renisha: RIGHT!!!
wedding = black lipliner
homecoming = black lipliner
me: funeral = black lipliner
birthday party = black lipliner
fashion shows= all black lipliner errthang
Renisha: going to class in college = black lipliner
me: nobody had sassy gay friends in the 90’s. i’m convinced
and that clear sticky gloss from the beauty supply, so yo’ whole lip was just grey and ashen.
 Renisha: with the white stuff in corners

 me: ughhh!! yes!!

We reviewed about 3 videos for this… and I think they will be separate posts. 🙂

What are some of your favorite memories from the 90’s? 

Hugs and Cross Colored Sprinkles,

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Wait A Minute, Mister Postman. I Think You Forgot Something…

 Hello, Friends.

Have you ever had a day that was pretty much normal until… the end? That happened to me the other day. I realized sometime last week that one of my Netflix rentals (The Proposal with Sandra Bullock Betty White) had not come. I figured the problem was with Netflix, so I reported that I hadn’t received it, got a new one sent the next day, done. AFTER I had watched the video in question and was ready to send it back, I receive a little tidbit in the mail from our lovely US Postal Service:

They cared… enough to not send my vidjo.

This, my friends… has never happened in the 24 years, 10 months, and how many ever odd days I have been alive on this fair planet. Never. Of course, my first thought is “why are they sending me the flap with my address on it, sans video?” Better yet, WHY did they deem it was necessary to send me the Ziplock bag equivalent of a Chris Brown apology bow tie? Seriously, I need to know what the point of it all was.

In the middle of my random outrage, I penned this letter, FROM MY PHONE, and uploaded it to Tumblr. I was mad, yo. Real mad. Shar Jackson.

Dear Postmaster: I sincerely regret that my mail was damaged due to a disgruntled Postal Worker. This incident inconvenienced me greatly, because I had to wait DAYS to see The Proposal, starring Sandra Bullock and that douchy guy featuring Betty White. BETTY WHITE, dambit! I expected my mail not only to be delivered in good condition, but also timely. You screwed not only me, but Netflix, by making them look bad.

I understand that mail is frequently damaged because your basement trolls like to rifle through the good stuff before it’s actually distributed. That’s why my mama can’t send me no Florida mangoes no more, ya bastids.

 I completely understand. You’re in the middle of training a new fleet of uniformed dummies, so you sent this piece of a Netflix envelope with my name and address in a Ziplock bag in order to say, “Welp, we tried.” Luckily, Netflix sent the video 4 days ago, and I got my Betty White fix.

I’m sure you’ll screw up again, so as far as accepting your apology, I’d rather not waste that breath of air when you’ll put my electric bill in the neighbor’s box tomorrow. F your existence.


I may have been a bit harsh, but… does this happen in real life, or just to me? Should I continue to write letters for the healing and to get things done? Has any kind of random mailing mishaps come your way? If so, share… I bet this wouldn’t have happened if I was in the suburbs. 

Switching to FedEx for Sprinkle Deliveries,

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Antoine Dodson… Is Going Nowhere.

Really, they are. Consider this your warning.

Hide ya’ tweets. Hide ya’ sites. Antoine Dodson is taking the world by storm!

For those of you who have been living under Plymouth Rock missed the initial hooplah of the Dodson phenomenon, allow me to explain very quickly:

News spread of a news story about an attempted rape in Alabama. Though the attemped rape was quite serious, the unintentional happened with the airing of this story. The brother of the victim (A. Dodson) was able to “run” the attacker off, but not without an interview that included a boatload of choice soundclips. Within days, the clip had a bajillion views, the soundclips were being made as ringtones, and Dodson was taking over the world. No Brain. The Gregory Brothers, who frequently Autotune the News (PS- Check that out!), came up with this gem:

I included the *new!* full version, because now, The “Bed Intruder” song is being sold on iTunes. For seriously. He’s climbing in your playlist. Snatching your repeats up. I can’t stand myself for loving it. I’ve been quoting the song, singing it at the bus stop. I’ve made my own personal remixes (hide ya’ shrimps, hide ya’ fries, AND hide ya’ crumpets!). I’ve contributed to the downfall of many of my friends’ productivity by introducing them to this. I repent: I ain’t ish.

So, anyway…

What has ole’ ‘Toine been up to since he became an overnight celebrity (no Twista)? Well, obviously… he got a Twitter account. He has a website and YouTube channel. All over the internets, people are showing their love through spoofs, posts, and in the case of North Carolina A&T’s marching  band, this soon to be popular homecoming halftime show offering:

All I’ll say is this: Once an HBCU marching band is playing your musical offerings, you’re in. It does kind of make me misty for the days when I played. *raises the roof with invisible trumpet*

So, friends, with Antoine taking advantage of the opportunities and interest his way (shooot, they’re trying to get out of the projects, now!), I think he might be around for a while. In fact, in the words of Sir Shiny Suit, Antoine. Ain’t. Go! In! No. Where! *figgy figgy*

How long do you predict Antoine’s notoriety will last in the tweets, I mean, streets? Will he last for a while, eventually landing his own series on VH1? Will he disappear randomly, like a flame in a midwestern thunderstorm? Will the Dodsons escape the projects? Did anybody find Homeboy? State your predictions below.

In the meantime, I’m hiding my sprinkles.

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Of Blacktags and Brown Twitter Birds…

Hey folks,

I am blogging in the middle of a meme right now. You didn’t catch me during the Antoine Dodson fiasco, because it had been done time and time again before I deduced I waited too long (the master procrastinator in me did it). You didn’t catch me during the Montana Fishburne mess, because I don’t particularly dabble in the affairs of those in the porn industry. But this… I’m here for, and I’m on time for it!

Friends, I introduce to you… Brown Twitter Bird:

#StuffBlackPeopleTweet #BlackTags #FroBirds

Check out his hat. His fancy hat. And the smartphone. The better to @ reply you with, my dear!

Where on EARF is this coming from, you say? Let’s discuss:

Yesterday, an article was posted by Slate magazine discussing the “phenomenon” of black people on Twitter. In short, it’s main idea was, “ZOMG!! Black ppls use Twittuh? Why they do it for? They use it a lot!” Basically, a bunch of bull. Lots of people use Twitter for varying reasons, and to try and single out one demographic and lump us into one category, Mr. Manjoo, you fail.

“Black people—specifically, young black people—do seem to use Twitter differently from everyone else on the service.”

 I need the receipts on gems such as this that were spouted throughout the article. I felt it was nothing more than an “Ask A Black Guy” segment, in the style of SNL or something.

The best part of the article, however, was the illustration that came with it. Shown above, it is a  bird, much like the Twitter mascot (let’s call him “Chirpers McTweet”), colored brown, with a fitted baseball cap (with the appropriate “#” symbol, possibly for #Blacktags?), and a smartphone. As the article circulated (I posted it too- I had to), InnyVinny got an idea- “Why don’t I make the hats different colors for those who don’t like the standard ‘twitter blue?'” Then we got some other offerings: pink, blue, purple, and for those who like to rep your hoods:

*does whatever people from Brooklyn do to rep*

These spread like wildfire. I changed mine to the fro-bird, seen on my profile, as more and more requests popped up: “Lacefront! Locks! Antoine Dodson! Michael Jackson (that was mine)!” InnyVinny, quite the entreprenessa, got to work. As of now, there are 19 Brown Twitter Birds on her site and counting! And, in true “Teh Black peepuhs are on twittuh” style, the “blacktag” #BrownTwitterBird has emerged, becoming the face of the movement.

I say, throw some caution to the wind and join in the fun. Are we ringing true the point that Manjoo wished to ‘explore’ in his article? Probably. Is it fun anyway? Yep.

With that, me and my #BrownTwitterBird are dougie-ing outta here.

Chirps and Sprinkles
Beez (and Chirpy Jankins)

Dey see me rollin. Dey hatin’.

Are you going to celebrate the Brown Twitter Bird?

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You’re Cut Off: The Buck Stops Here (For Now)

I’ll start by saying this: TV is a life ruiner. It ruins lives.

I didn’t have a television my first year and a half in college. Didn’t really care so much, either. Once I moved into my own apartment, I had it and cable for a while. Cable (and that nifty DVR thingy) proved to be too much for me to handle, especially with an ever-increasing course load.

Fast forward about 3 years, and now, I’ve been watching more TV. Specifically, this “reality” bewl they put out on the Viacom networks. I will say the only reason I’ve gotten into it, though, is because of Twitter. Live-tweeting makes the mundane that much more bearable. If not for Twitter and the hilarious people I follow and interact with, I’d have no reason to watch Fantasia sweating bullets while trudging through Green Eggs and Ham for the 50th time.

The latest show I caught on VH1 was completely by accident. You’re Cut Off! (yep, with the exclamation point and all, begins with a “grand” set up. Tell a bunch of spoiled people who have no respect for the world around them that they get a chance to be featured on a TV show showing off their “lavish lifestyles.” Take them on a shopping spree, where everyone’s card miraculously declines, and send them to a shoddy guest services kiosk. Then, send them to a room where they learn from their new “life coach”, where we start to learn more about the “princesses,” and my dwarfy names for them:

Amber “Blondie”- From Savannah, GA. Spent her trust fund on cars and clothes. Took a semester off from school to catch up on shopping. Looks like Kirstie Alley. Enabler: Dad.

Chrissy “Browsie”- From Los Angeles, and lazy as crap. Goal in life is to be married three times, just because she wants awesome weddings each time. Wants an engagement ring of at least $300,000. Shops all day and refuses to carry nothing more than her purse. Her eyebrows are the portal to evil. Enabler: Grandma, who in the confrontation video, said she was “ackin’ lahk uh d*mn foo'”. I’m inclined to agree.

Courtnee “Snore-zee”- From Charlotte, NC. She’s not saying she’s a gold digger… but, well, you know the rest. Apparently is the Charlotte’s version of a socialite. She’s been in local magazines and ERRTHING! Not much else I could say about her, mostly because she kinda bores me. Enablers: Parents, who in true fashion, ponder how their princess became such an, um.. princess. 😐

Erica “Spacey”- From Houston, TX. Apparently, she’s been on The Bachelor. Never seen it, not starting. Has a tiara collection and a plastic surgeon dad who gives her half a milli in treatments per year. Has a personal astrologer (who FAILS if she didn’t know this show was in the works. Just saying.), and a tendency to sound COMPLETELY FREAKIN’ STONED AT ALL TIMES. Enabler- PlastiSurgDad, and mom (I think). Shames my name like no other…

Gia “Trout Mouf-ey” From Sherman Oaks, CA. Takes pride in the fact that she’s never changed her OWN KID’S diaper or woken up in the middle of the night to feed her baby, because she needs her beauty sleep. Her hookah probably has more priority than her baby and husband, who hires nannies and maids that help her deal with her “rough life.” Main concern is herself, her looks, and her lavish lifestyle. Pretty darn despicable, and I don’t like her fish mouth. Enabler: Husband, who wants her to see the light, and take a family portrait (or something)

Jacqueline “Tearsy”- She cries a lot. Places a lot of emphasis on looks and their place in dating.  Feels that she “deserves” what she has because she’s pretty. Got a Chanel bag at five, and has gotten everything she’s wanted since. Surprisingly the first one to show any kind of concern for others. Enablers: Family, who’s sick of supporting her party girl  lifestyle (might don’t make it.)

Jessica “Winehouse-y”- From the Jersey Shore. Probably could just drop the mic and walk away after this. Looks like Amy Winehouse if she were still in her right mind. Enablers: Parents, who also turned a spare bedroom into another walk-in closet for her and her legions of stuff.

Leanne “Wiggsy”- Another from Sherman Oaks. Her hairline bugs me, and makes me itch. Didn’t like the color of her Mercedes, so she got a brand new Ferrari, which she crashed two weeks later. Enabler: Her dad. Poor fella.

Pamela “Sketchy”- New Yorker. Supposedly “works on Wall Street, doing finance” and can support herself. Family’s sick of her demands, and the fact that she upgraded herself from princess to queen status without consultation. The house thinks she’s some sort of prostitute… Enablers: Family.

Laura Baron- the poor, unfortunate soul with the task of making these shells feel something for someone other than themselves, realize the value of money, and actually start contributing to society and their own upkeep. She is a professional life coach (seriously, though, how do I get one of those gigs? Put me on.), and has dealt with people from all walks of life. My prayers are with her as she tries to whip this bunch.

The best part of the show, however, are the quotables… I’m telling you, these deluded folk really think they’re something! Here’s another sampling:

  • They didn’t know wine came in a box, and furthermore, couldn’t figure out how to get the wine from the bag in the box. One girl muses “I’m used to popping bottles, not popping boxes!” 
  • Erica, bringing up her (failed astrologer again)- “I don’t need a life coach, I already have an astrologer!
  • “You wish you looked like me having a kid and married at my age.” <— all one sentence. lots of neck-rolling. 
  • Constant reminders of what they have at home, and how, once this is over, they’ll get even more stuff. 
  • Ridiculous comments about maids. 
  • “These people out here on the streets addicted to drugs are the problem. We are not hazards!” (o_O)

My goodness, just watch. Wednesdays at 8/7C on VH1. If you catch me on the Twitter, we can even chat about it, when I’m not holding my tummy and rolling around laughing.

Do you know anyone with this kind of “princess complex?” How do you deal with these people?

Love and Sprinkles, ‘

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