Beauty Standards

Shh. I haven’t been here for a while, and I gots something to say.

This one’s been marinating inside of me for a minute…

I’m baffled by the concept of beauty these days. I’ve always believed that what makes one different makes them beautiful, but I recognized that there’s a pressure, particularly on young women, to conform to a set “standard” to be “beautiful.” A certain hairstyle, a certain weight, a certain way of dress are seen as acceptable and right, and any deviations are seen as the norm. Strange thing is, we’re all a bit of a deviation if you ask me. Take myself for example: I’ve got a big crazy fro, I’m a bit overweight (working on that though), and I don’t get gussied up like the average girl, mostly because I’m not all that sure of what to “do” (anybody wanna be my big sister?). When I got my last relaxer 4 years ago and announced it, all I could get in return from people is “when are you gonna do your hair?” or “what’s up with that mop on your head?” or better yet, the unsolicited yanking, pulling and touching (especially on the occasion I opt to have it straightened, to see if it’s “all mine”). For the sake of keeping this a bit brief, I’d rather tell my hair story another time. Just know there’s a story, and have your popcorn ready.

It’s funny, because with all of these stories of celebrities making changes and being scrutinized (ie Solange Knowles’ infamous public cut (left), anything Rihanna or Beyonce does, Jennifer Aniston’s hairstyle which was popular enough to have a name, the Rachel (right)[by the way, wtheck was up with that?]), it makes me wonder: why do we let these societal standards define who we are? I think of Chris Rock’s upcoming documentary “Good Hair” (a phrase which pisses me beyond the highest possible level of pisstivity, because who determines if your hair is “good” or “bad,” if God made it to grow out of your head as such? For those unfamiliar with the documentary (or the term), here’s the trailer:

I’m kind of intrigued to see how relevant this will be, considering Rebbund Al is in it, and no, I wouldn’t touch his hair. It seems to be a good idea on the forefront, but I wonder exactly who the target audience is.

I know there are many people who get it, that you are who you are, and we should just embrace that no matter what. On the other side, you have, well, a mix of people who I hate to put in a box, because this will always be a never ending list… But for today, I kind of want to focus on those who make embracing your natural beauty seem so easy. Let’s look at the college professor in Georgia who adopted a child from Ethiopia, and with no prior knowledge of how to care for African hair, used love and patience to begin shaping in his daughter the idea that she is beautiful. For a gallery of photos like the ones to the side, click here. For the full story, click here.

It’s so nice to see stories like that, and from a non-African American family at that! The time spent learning speaks volumes of that father’s love. That “supply drawer” is nothing to balk about , either! I hope that one day when I have some curly haired cuties of my own, I will be able to impart into them the message of loving yourself as you are. Sure, I’ll accept the choices they make along the way, maybe even participate in some myself. The important thing is to teach them that who you are on the outside and
on the inside are the same, but different. That’s one less thing they’ll be in therapy for later with a wacky mum like me! 🙂

Anyway, what are some of your ideals on this whole “standard of beauty” thing, and what do you do to combat it, if you choose to do so? Do you have children, and if so, how do you impart the message that they are beautiful?

Love it. Period.

Take care!

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Can’t Keep a Good Beez Down…

I’ve been spending all this time not posting… that means that if I have something to say now, something good has to have happened, right?

Not really.

Still figuring out what’s next, and i have exactly 30 days to pack up the apartment I’ve lived in for 3 years in the midst. Some days, it feels like everything’s against me. I applied for 3 jobs one day, only to find 2 denials in my inbox the next… doesn’t take much time to get a “no,” eh? I know my brand of optimism is weird and rare these days, but I just hold on to the hope that one day, the one who says “yes” will be more than worth it. Guess the same could be said for men too, though I’m proud to admit I haven’t actively pursued that arena in the longest. Perhaps because I’ve been spending so much time figuring myself and my situation out– could you imagine being almost homeless, perpetually jobless, and in a relationship?!? The horrors of it all. *shudders*
Fetal Zombie Hoe = I am The Beez, Fool.

I did see the HP 6 movie, and I’m convinced that my eccentricities rival Luna Lovegood’s at times, but that’s another story for another day. In fact, my Whatever Wednesday this week was supposed to go to Warner Bros. There’s always the weekend though. Let’s just say there were a few parts that made me check my ticket stub to make sure I was in the right place.

Anyway, I just figured out it’s Friday, so that means I need to find something that I find entertaining from the past… What did I call it? Oh yeah– Flashback Friday. D’oh!

Before Sesame Street was inundated by the red terror known as Elmo (no last name- what is he, Cher or something?), it was filled with lots of catchy tunes, and even friendlier monsters. Monsters that weren’t jerks, except maybe Grover… but I loved him because he didn’t mean it. He was only trying to help the blue man. Anyway, some of the funnier ones.

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, the songs of Sesame Street.

*The spelling of this video is Heeee-larious: Classic Sesame Street – Take a Bweaff

*Cereal Girl- obvious parody here, but the dog was jamming!

*Aww schnap! The Monster in the Mirror (aka the “Wubba Wubba” song). Everybody who was anybody was in this celebrity version: Dwayne Wayne from a different world, Kid and Play, Ray Charles, Whoopi, the lady who played Murphy Brown, Robin Williams, Theo Huxtable, and The Simpsons! To be honest, I think I might’ve been in there somewhere too. Probably chillin’ with the Frugal Gourmet dude. Reason #53 for why Grover is awesomeness ^50.

*Do-Wop Hop- I still do the Kermit dance to this day. Why were the animals the best backup singers? The pig sisters, the cows, it was just a talented cast of Muppetry! Not to mention the serious air Kermie got on this 🙂

*Do De Rubber Duck- I’m not sure if I’d still be singing and dancing if the whole block ended up in my bathroom in scrub gear, but the song is still catchy nonetheless. In real life though, this makes me giggle.

Have a happy weekend, all!


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Flashback Friday: Remember These Guys?

Ah, I remember the late 80’s/early 90’s… a time when my real memories started to kick in, and cartoon life was the life to be a part of. Learning your favorite theme songs and jingles were an essential part of the day. Everything was just so… carefree.

Today’s post features a few of my favorite cartoons from back in the day… First up- Alvin and the Chipmunks. I was convinced I was going to marry Alvin. Along with him, Grover, and Michael Jackson, my first “crushes” were kind of… interesting.

Speaking of chipmunks,

Brings memories of big cereal bowls, commercials that were GOOD, and innocence. Back in the day when cartoons were actual cartoons… Enjoy your Friday!


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Celebration of Love Stuff

Lately, I’ve seen people write letters to their future children and whatnot. They remind me of the letters I wrote to my former self, in the form of “Dear 13-year-old Beez, shut up. Stop being a smartarse. I love you. The End.” I realize one that I haven’t done is a letter to my future husband, whose identity is still unknown. This is only a test, but *sigh* here goes[*]…

**Please excuse all forms of sappiness that are soon to follow. I’m not very good at it, but it’s sap nonetheless, and I’m too hard for all that.**
Dear Mr. Guy

How did this happen? I have no idea at what point in my life I met you, and when that whole love thing with the birdies and violins and baby deer came about, but here we are. Are we really about to do this? I guess everything’s all in place, or things are as they should be, else I probably wouldn’t be ready to change my name to *insert your last name here, or hyphenated last name*. This love thing is crazy. I can’t say I’ve really had it happen before, but now that I’m here, I understand.

Right now, I don’t know you (or maybe I do and it’s not known that we will be together or something), but I pray for you every day. Not that you’ll magically Apparate or floo into my home and sweep me off of my feet and we can fly into the sunset, happy forever, but that you had (or will have) a good day. I like to start with the basics. Hopefully no one will make you want to cut the big toe off of their firstborn, and you will have a great day. If your day doesn’t go well, I pray that you at least have the strength in you to admit it, and take it to the Lord. See, I like a nice Christian guy, so Mr. *whoever you are*, you WILL have to have a relationship with God that’s more than, “Uh, I go to church on Easter.” **No offense to those of you who do, but not for my hubby- “As for me and my house…” (Joshua 24:15).**

Not only do I hope that you’re having a good day, but that each (okay, maybe not each one) event in your life helps prepare you to be a better husband… dare I say, even the best, for me! (yeah, I can be a jerk like that- let you have a crappy life so you treat me better.. I’m working on it though.) At the same time, I hope that I’m being prepared to serve as your wife. At this point I don’t even fully know what that means, but I guess that’s probably why we’re not –><-- there yet. I know that in due time we'll be ready for each other. But first I must warn you of what you will get into. My family will intimidate you. Some of them I haven't seen much of, but considering I'm the oldest granddaughter on both sides, my dad, brother, uncles, and cousins will hate you on principle. I suggest not looking them directly in the eyes, alternate between letting them win and lose arm wrestling matches, and just say you like Maull's BBQ sauce, even if you have no idea what it is. By being who you are, you should get nothing but love from my mom, and the occasional side-eye from my sister, but I've come to believe her eyes just got stuck that way, so just ignore her like I have been doing. When we meet the Florida family, don't ask them to repeat anything- you'll only get more confused trying to decipher it all. Just smile and nod, and figure it out later. I know sometimes I'll be a bear to deal with, especially with the baby pterodactyl noise I make upon waking up (it's my yawny voice!), but I'll try to make it as less of a bumpy ride as possible. I'll keep my lady hygiene products away from your line of vision, and keep the bathroom door closed when doing *ahem* personal things. I'll make you breakfast on my off days. I'll make time for you when you need me to, even if it is the last 10 minutes of Hell's Kitchen (the only 10 minutes worth watching sometimes). I'll suffer through making (and possibly eating) your favorites, though you know you've got a self-proclaimed "picky eater with exotic tastes." I'll learn to cook your favorite "mama dishes" if you don't like my spin, and I'll even get along with your mama. Most moms like me, but I imagine marrying into the family is a different kind of like. I'll see when we get there. I hope to make you as happy as you'll make me. If not, pull me aside so we can figure it out. I'm sure that this whole being married thing is something that'll require lots of maintenance- sort of like a well-maintained car runs better than the one that sits and rusts. Other than that, get ready for the ride. It'll be bumpy at times, and other times it'll be smooth. I'll even keep the random adventures to a minimum if it's not your thing. I can find a happy medium. Hopefully we'll get to see a bunch of cool places along the way- together. Bring a camera. 🙂 With all the love I can muster for a (known or unknown) stranger, Mrs. Beez *insert last name or my last with yours hypenated*
*flourish at the end of signature*
*2 lovers + 2 gether= 4 ever (I went middle school on ya!)*

**End of le sap. Come back next time for something less sappy, like airplane fights!**

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In Memory of a Lost Art- Ode to the Jingle

Well, fair people, I’ve been taking up real estate on ol’ couchy for a while while the wheezing and sneezing subside. I realized at one point, though, how much the commercial jingle has been lost in the shuffle between “HeadOn, Apply Directly to the Forehead” and “Stinky! Stinky! Stinky! Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!” repetitiveness. Anyway, in the midst of hacking my lungs up and feeling like I swallowed a thousand ticklers, I began to compile what is, in my opinion, some of the best commercial jingles- EVARR!! *cue dramatic lighting and music, a la “Who Wants to be a Millionaire* In addition, I’ll add them for your viewing pleasure.

[Ruckus Voice] Sing along, if ya know the woyds. [/Ruckus Voice]

11. My Buddy/Kid Sister: If you’re too young to know what these are, think of a nicer Chucky doll. that is, if you’re old enough to know about the “Child’s Play” series… Oh, the 80’s. I can’t say I know of anyone who had a My Buddy, or Kid Sister. Seemed kind of… off.

10. Next up on our journey, the one, the only… Light Brite! I used to want one of these baaader than Michael Jackson was in the subway station. Glad I didn’t get one, lest I would’ve been disappointed to see Christmas lights and black construction paper…

9. and 8. These oldies but goodies go to good old board games, that I happened to remember off the top of my head. Remember when game commercials basically gave you the instructions in the jingle?

*crickets* No? Well, here’s Perfection and Twister, to either jog your memory, or learn ya something… Remember the word jog for the next one….

7. Now, remember when I said to remember jog? Well, I lied about jogging. The next one is all about skipping… it! I still imagine my parents knew best by not gettting me one, considering my state of hopeless clumsiness. Beez + Skip It! = Playground Fatality. In a nutshell.

But the very best thing of all- there’s a counter on this ball!

6. You’re not fully clean unless… your towel has awesome snapping power. Enjoy!

5. Getting hungry? I thought so. Between me and you, I think the other kid had the right idea… dang peer pressure. He didn’t want to be one- why is that so bad?!?

4 and 3. Before Stride enlisted the aid of goats to get people to spit out their long lasting gum, they used to just, well, kiss it out! That, or go parasailing.

“Take a sniff, pull it out”– seriously? They let this air?

2. If you’re ever questioned about shenanigans you may or may not have engaged in, pull out some of these suckas. Everyone will understand.

Nope, still looks like you sat in wet paint. Idiot. You WILL NOT get the job.

1. And here’s my all time favorite jingle… the only one that counts is number 1, right? The others are in random order, but here’s my top. I hate the candy, but love the jingle. It’s so sweet and endearing (probably the opposite of Beez, but who’s counting?) With no further ado, Tootsie Roll!

Too bad whatever it is I think I see does not become a Tootsie Roll to me. Life would be sweeter, no pun intended. Hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane, and if you’d like to enlighten me, let me know some of your favorite jingles! Maybe this can keep going!

Take care,

P.S.- Shouts out to Mika, who is the first person to subscribe to the BeezHive. Won’t you be my neighbor too?

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