All Eyez are STILL on Tupac. In 2012 A.D.

Tupac Shakur has GOT to be the hardest working man in the afterlife.

Since his (widely contested) death in 1996, he has released 7 albums, and his pre-death albums continue to sell and be touted as the best by doting fans. There have been plenty of novelty “Tupac sightings” in the nearly sixteen years since his passing, much like Elvis sightings, lookalikes, and performers. Today, though, I saw something that SOLIDIFIES Tupac’s hard work above even James Brown.

During the Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre performance at the Coachella Music Festival, Tupac performed live and in the flesh… as a hologram. That’s right– the shirtless, crip walking TupacOgram was performing like he was really there, in the flesh. And I was totally weirded out by it.

Tupac Back.

Joining the headliners for a rousing performance of “California Love,” HoloPac also took time to perform his hit “Hail Mary,” right before the lights went out… I mean, his time was up.  He kind of vanished, and everyone was left musing about what just happened. Eminem also performed (though he wasn’t a hologram, as I originally thought), and I was left during the rest of the set musing on how creepy it was. So, like any other normal human at 1:30 am, I tweeted my thoughts, below. Read from bottom to top, of course.

Coffee + holograms of dead guys = overactive imagination Beez .

I did start thinking about it, though… what if people could seriously commission holograms for times when just being there in person isn’t convenient, like the BET Awards. Beyonce, Kanye, Jay-Z, and whatever former Apollo host/comedian hosting the show could all phone in their appearances, while still getting paid to “be there.” Could you imagine the oddness that would occur at

  • Weddings/ Christenings
  • Baby related events (showers, births)
  • Family pictures (when everyone just can’t be in the same place at the same time)
  • Family dinners/huge reunion-type events (Aunt Jackie back?)
  • Driving exams (would you trust a hologram reading for you? READING?!)
  • Days at work (why call off?)

Better yet, I’m sure these holograms take time and exorbitant amounts of money. Who do you see celebrities wanting to bring back just one more time?

  • I’m sure Drake, Missy Elliot, and Timbaland would collaborate on bringing back Aaliyah. 
  • Rap artists would bring back Nate Dogg to resume singing hooks. 
  • The #Thrillermaker would be brought back to, you know… spin and make it rain glitter and whatnot. 

Actually, that topic is getting a little too horrific for me. Honestly, I’d just prefer if folks would let the dead stay dead. Holograms now, but will we be trying to animate full on corpses sooner or later? I said I was going to stop.

Seriously, stop.

 You know what, though? This is proof that we are truly living in the future. We are getting closer and closer to living the Jetsons lifestyle.  What do you all think of this performance? Would you be antsy to see a deceased loved one or celebrity right there in your face, or would you run away? If you had the chance, who would you bring back in holographic form? 

The Future is Truly upon Us (run!),

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Confessions of an Awkward Black Girl

Hey, there.

If any of you are my friends on facebook (sidenote- I should get one of those fan pages, eh?), you know that I have been raving for MONTHS about the webseries, The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. If the name alone doesn’t catch your fancy as it did for me, allow me to give you a brief overview of the series. The protagonist, J (played by writer/director Issa Rae) is awkward, black, and a woman, so we get to see how she navigates those three unchangeable aspects in everyday life. She shares that internal dialogue that we often have when faced with situations that, to the average person, are nothing, but to the awkward person, it becomes the BIGGEST THING EVER. A perfect example is the protocol for running into someone repeatedly at stop signs, highlighted in the very first episode, shown below.

With that said, this series is EVERYTHING. Being a black woman, it’s hard to find a series out that wants to accurately depict us as something other than basketball jumpoffs or Atlanta socialites. Some of us love quirky too- heck, some of us ARE quirky! Sure, there are shows out there that feature black people, like that one guy on The Office…


… or that one lady from Parks and Recreation that isn’t Rashida Jones, who is Black but they probably never mention it , who I can only call ‘mmm-hmmm,’ because that’s all she seems to say…

Mmm-hmm (Note: she actually does say more than this)

…but there isn’t a show that features a girl that looks like me as the main character, engaging in normal activities outside of auditioning for the next Immature video, and that sucked, until TMOABG (word to acronyms) came on the scene. In honor of the show, I decided to embrace my own brand of awkward, and highlight some features in my daily life that I can’t help because of it:

  • Meeting New People– I’ll be honest: I suck at this. Because I’m an observer by nature, I tend to be on the tail end of meeting folks, in order to avoid the crowds and get to know you on my own terms. Plus, when there’s so many people and things to do, I get a bit flustered, and start to wonder about silly things, like where my hands need to be at any given moment. Uh, pause. Plus, my perception is a mofo, so even before our firs encounter, I may be able to pick up on your entire being in a way that will scare you and I both. Not in a creepy way, but I’m just usually spot on with my first impressions.
  • Conversation Style– Admittedly, I have a bit of a short attention span, yet it gets better with the more things I’m involved in. I actually prefer talking on the phone more than in person, and don’t care much for texting, except with folks I know won’t respond with k’s and o’s. That said, if engaged with you one on one and my eyes start darting, don’t take it personally. Rest assured I’m still paying attention, and listening well. I just need to figure out where my hands go. Pause. 
  • Facial Expressions- My face tells everything I’m thinking, intended or not. If I know and trust you really well, I can even have a full conversation with you based on these expressions. Even if I’m not expressing myself with words, which I admittedly suck at, my faces will usually be your clue as to whether I’m really into your story about *insert whatever you’re talmbowt,* or if I’m replaying an episode of Legends of the Hidden Temple in my head, and mad that the kid can’t put together the Shrine of the Silver Monkey (seriously- it’s three pieces: butt, middle, and jam the head. WHY DO THEY TREAT THIS LIKE PHYSICS?!).
  • Interaction with Babies– My past, present, and future is Nanny McBeez. With that in mind, people think I this magical infant guru who can speak in soothing tones to their wee ones and they gleefuly comply. More often than not, this is not the case. I despise baby talk, so I speak to infants like they know what hedge funds are. When soothing them, I urge them to think about their lives and their choices. When they decide to make messes, I give them a Powerpoint presentation on the effects of littering. I suppose my unwavering patience is what eventually wins me over with the pre-walker set.
  • Inability to Take Compliments- This is, by far, the most awkward thing I do. Every time I get complimented on something, my brain processes it as “you’re messed up somewhere- and it’s BAD!”  which leads me to downplay the compliment the complimenter was trying to compliment me on in the first place. *takes breath* Still with me? The conversation that follows is usually what cements my place in the awkward hall of fame. For example: 
    • Nice person- Hey, I like your eye makeup. 
    • My Internal Monologue- You didn’t pluck your eyebrows- YOU LOOK LIKE DRAKE IN THE FACE! 
    • Me (out loud): Uh… thank… you? I mean… I don’t do this too often, so I was sure I left the house with my certificate from Tammy Faye’s School of Messed Up About the Face-Ness For Colored Girls Who Considered Wet and Wild When MAC was Too Expensive.
    • Nice Person: Uhhhhrrrrmm… Nebmind. *runs away*

Because, as always, I’m working on being a work in progress, I am now aware that my state of awkwardness begins in my head, where all of this wacky stuff takes place. Then again, as the famous knitter Albus Dumbledore once said, “Of course it is happening inside your head… but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” With acknowledgment comes acceptance, and with acceptance comes… t-shirts.

Series creator, Issa Rae, with the phrase of my life. Get them here.

If you want to watch more episodes beyond the first, you can find them at the website, or on YouTube. Follow on facebook or twitter if you have it, too.

Sharing time! How awkward do you allow yourself to be, in the company of yourself and/or others? 

Hoping none of my clients call CPS on me,

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