Beauty Standards

Shh. I haven’t been here for a while, and I gots something to say.

This one’s been marinating inside of me for a minute…

I’m baffled by the concept of beauty these days. I’ve always believed that what makes one different makes them beautiful, but I recognized that there’s a pressure, particularly on young women, to conform to a set “standard” to be “beautiful.” A certain hairstyle, a certain weight, a certain way of dress are seen as acceptable and right, and any deviations are seen as the norm. Strange thing is, we’re all a bit of a deviation if you ask me. Take myself for example: I’ve got a big crazy fro, I’m a bit overweight (working on that though), and I don’t get gussied up like the average girl, mostly because I’m not all that sure of what to “do” (anybody wanna be my big sister?). When I got my last relaxer 4 years ago and announced it, all I could get in return from people is “when are you gonna do your hair?” or “what’s up with that mop on your head?” or better yet, the unsolicited yanking, pulling and touching (especially on the occasion I opt to have it straightened, to see if it’s “all mine”). For the sake of keeping this a bit brief, I’d rather tell my hair story another time. Just know there’s a story, and have your popcorn ready.

It’s funny, because with all of these stories of celebrities making changes and being scrutinized (ie Solange Knowles’ infamous public cut (left), anything Rihanna or Beyonce does, Jennifer Aniston’s hairstyle which was popular enough to have a name, the Rachel (right)[by the way, wtheck was up with that?]), it makes me wonder: why do we let these societal standards define who we are? I think of Chris Rock’s upcoming documentary “Good Hair” (a phrase which pisses me beyond the highest possible level of pisstivity, because who determines if your hair is “good” or “bad,” if God made it to grow out of your head as such? For those unfamiliar with the documentary (or the term), here’s the trailer:



I’m kind of intrigued to see how relevant this will be, considering Rebbund Al is in it, and no, I wouldn’t touch his hair. It seems to be a good idea on the forefront, but I wonder exactly who the target audience is.

I know there are many people who get it, that you are who you are, and we should just embrace that no matter what. On the other side, you have, well, a mix of people who I hate to put in a box, because this will always be a never ending list… But for today, I kind of want to focus on those who make embracing your natural beauty seem so easy. Let’s look at the college professor in Georgia who adopted a child from Ethiopia, and with no prior knowledge of how to care for African hair, used love and patience to begin shaping in his daughter the idea that she is beautiful. For a gallery of photos like the ones to the side, click here. For the full story, click here.

It’s so nice to see stories like that, and from a non-African American family at that! The time spent learning speaks volumes of that father’s love. That “supply drawer” is nothing to balk about , either! I hope that one day when I have some curly haired cuties of my own, I will be able to impart into them the message of loving yourself as you are. Sure, I’ll accept the choices they make along the way, maybe even participate in some myself. The important thing is to teach them that who you are on the outside and
on the inside are the same, but different. That’s one less thing they’ll be in therapy for later with a wacky mum like me! 🙂

Anyway, what are some of your ideals on this whole “standard of beauty” thing, and what do you do to combat it, if you choose to do so? Do you have children, and if so, how do you impart the message that they are beautiful?


Love it. Period.

Take care!
–Beez

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(That’s Just) Everyone’s Baby Daddy

Oh, people, I swear sometimes, this news just comes to me, like an epiphany (shouts to Chrisette)… Anyway, there’s a guy in Tennessee who’s been making his rounds, literally. Desmond “Fertile the Turtle” Hatchett, all of 29 years old, had a pretty rough day in child support court. Rough only because he had 11 appearances, due to cases for 15 of his 20 (on paper, but may just be 21) children…

Here’s the link to the story.

[Lil Jon Voice] WHATTTTTTT?!?!? [/Lil Jon Voice]

Just to give you a recap of some of the facts gathered:

  • 21 kids, in Knoxville TN (Just make sure you get a goooood look at the pic below, ladies, if you happen to travel there.)
  • Works a minimum wage job, and by TN law, child support can’t take more than 50% of his paycheck, which after divvied between a billion 20 something kids, leaves the mothers with less than a whopping $2 a month. What can you feed a child with that?
  • The children’s ages range from newborn to 11 years old. Turtle was definitely gettin’ it poppin’ (and not like Mr. Brown). He even claims that he had 4 kids in one year- twice. *Why, Lawd… Why???* His only explanation? “It just happened.”
  • Sir Fertileness also states that he is done having children. Why, pray tell, could he have not been done, hmm, about 15-19 births ago?

Facts Stuff I gathered based on this “evidence”:

  • He’s not very bright. And now he’s the babydaddy of Knoxville.
  • The women he procreated with weren’t very bright, either. How do you sit, stand, or lay with a man that you know has enough kids to make up 3 Quidditch teams? **for those unfamiliar with Potter, Quidditch teams usually have 7 players, pre-injuries.** For real though, he couldn’t have sat next to me on the bus, or paid for lunch. Get thee away, ol’ Professional Copulation Expert!
  • Times like these make me kind of understand why some folks push for sterilization so passionately. When all you can offer as an answer is “It just happened,” you should have had the right to knowingly or unknowingly create children ages ago.
  • Our sense of family is seriously on the decline. We need to get better, world.
  • The real victims in this: the children. 🙁 Their standard of life will always be shortchanged, since I’m sure (not being a jerk about it, but just saying) none of the parents involved have past a high school education- hence the reason that Dad works minimum wage and can only give you 2 bucks a month to split with your brother. Mom’s probably working about the same rate, so who foots the bill? We already know who… I pray that their lives turn out better than what I assume will be.

Who that ee-uh?
That’s just errrbody baby daddy!

Consider this a Public Service Announcement.

Responsibly Yours,
Beez

PS- Happy Birthday to my little buddy Ollie, who’s celebrating her 1st birthday today!!

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