Operation White Cake Just Raised the Bar.

Yesterday, in my usual Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr rotation, I came across a video that might as well had been labeled The Cutest Thing Ever. You see, this guy Shawn decided his girlfriend of 7 years was definitely the one he wanted (No Zukko). They had plans to elope in Vegas then announce it casually among friends soon after. However, Shawn decided girlfriend Colleen deserved much more than that, and in a series of conversations for a year, Shawn recorded details of what would make a wedding perfect for Colleen, then made it happen.

Yes, you heard that right. He planned a wedding down to the details she wanted. Had her dream dress flown in, the family members and friends on location, and the crew of bridesmaids dressed and ready to go. All that was needed was a willing bride. That part would (hopefully) come soon enough.

Everybody in attendance was at the designated spot before Colleen, so those who weren’t in the know were informed that the bride-to-be didn’t even know of this surprise. It was like a surprise party, except with a white dress, new rings, and a marriage license as parting gifts. Shawn threw in some lovely quotables from The Princess Bride as an added touch, and began to pace nervously, awaiting his girlfriend’s arrival. He hoped if she said yes, everything she needed was available, since he even arranged for all of her bedroom furniture to be on-site, in the same arrangement she has it at home. Seriously, this guy needs an award. If not for making me lose my thug at the phrase “Martha Stewart paper balls,” then for having such an immaculate attention to detail when planning what (I’m told) is one of the most significant days of a woman’s life. Colleen is, quite possibly, the luckiest woman on earth.

*cue applause and awwwws*

With the onslaught of surprise proposals I’ve seen recently, this took it up a notch. I’d definitely be down if the man in my life decided to just go for what he knew and plan the most splendid shindig of my life. I’d catch about 50 jigs knowing I’d never get a chance to flap my Bridezilla wings. I’m not saying I have them, but wedding planning just seems to bring out the ugly in some women.

Oh, and here’s the video detailing this day-long journey from girlfriend to fiancee to wife. Feel free to send them well-wishes at operationwhitecake@gmail.com.

So…
Would any of you be willing to

  • plan and coordinate surprise nuptials for your beloved, or 
  • gladly participate if my love decided to pull something like this off? 

Discuss.

That’s love in the air, not sulfur.
–Beez

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We Have Some Serious Catching Up To Do…

Okay, okay, I’m off of that whole self-imposed blogging sabbatical now. Do you still love me? Will you still care? Will you be there?

So, anyway, my life has been full of a billion changes, all in the last week or two. I moved into a three bedroom condo with two strangers, and so far, it’s been a blast! I’m the youngest one here (which never happens in my real life), so I try and stay out of my normal mode of shenanigans… we’ll see how long the honeymoon lasts. Babybear and mommy moved to Texas with poppy, and I went along for the ride. Two days in a car + 2 days on a train back home = a very irritated Beez, I tells ya. The only thing that saved me from throwing somebody’s mams off of the train was Twitter. Even then, it was rather patchy, going through the hills and mountains and countryside. My tweets chronicled my life in the slow moving metal box. Butterfly Charlie found great enjoyment from them. I feel that you all would too. Here’s a little sampling (for more hilarity follow me on Twitter @BeezHunny.):

*St. Louis. White Castle. #NomNomNom. And away we goooo!

*Can all those Meramec Caverns signs be counted as “road spam?”

*Everything in Oakleehomer is named after Will Rogers. Is he the Patron Saint of cowboy-ism? #AiJusWannaNoe

*The baby licked her mom’s toast this morning, all for the quest to jelly. I may have to rethink this wanting chilluns thing. #EWW

*Sign #965.23 that you’re in Bumf*ck, Nowhere: Signal going in and out. Battery wasting itself finding one. Streetside cemetaries.4:28 PM Oct 16th from mobile web

*I see cacti patches. and red clay. and houses on big hills and sh*t.
Winters TX. Speed Limit 35 AND it smells skunky. *facepalm*

* When we first crossed the state line, a sign said “The Eyes of Texas are Upon You.” I kinda believe it. #Scary

*Do deer ever jump out at you like the sign suggests? #IAmSleepy

* *hits head repeatedly on seat in front of me*

* I don’t have a fork. I’m starving (kinda), and my head hurts like I’ve been hit with a truck. Time to rough it, I suppose.

*Ugh… make your kids shut up, people who just got on in Austin. People is trying to sleep. Give em whisky, tranquilizer…

*Seriously. These heathuns are excited abou the train, and spent minutes going “FOOTRESTS?!? AWESOME!!!”

*Worse of all, they choose to sit. right. behind. me. I’m gonna ring the alarm. Or their necks.

*Yes, the family has moved to the People who are traveling together section! Jesus loves me!

*I still see cactuses #YeahIKnowItsCacti , so I thinks I’m still in the south.

*I’M BOUT TO FLIP THIS DINING CARRRRRRR…

*I’m stuck on this Amtrak sit-tin in a cold seat, kids gettin on my nerrrvess. Goin’ outta my mind I thought I’d be fine, I think I’ma choke

*Really? You just gon’ start hummin spirituals like that? I assumed I was on Amtrak, not Amistad- #SHURRUP

*That was, quite possibly, the worst effing hot dog in my hot dog eating history. My stomach will revolt soon, I just know it…

*Marshall, TX is NOT a smoke break. Soon I’ll been in Texarkana?!? Is that like Bennifer?

*Somebody farted. On this train. Bad bizness, son. I’m about to fight on principle… #NOSHTY

*Texarkana? Is this real life, like a real word?!? #BOOLSHEET

*Next up: Arkadelphia, Brangelina’s second home. :*|

*I’m cold. and hungry. and I can’t sleep. and I hit my foot on the damb footrest. #COMEONGOODTIMES #INEEDYARETTNOW

*LL Bean + LL Cool J = LL Cool Beans.

*My, what a crowded bus this is… Who has time to be ignorant when I’m competing for oxygen? #TRAILWAYSFAILWAY

*Finally back, after 4 days, numerous hours, and plenty of minutes… I need to shower from head to toe.

*I haven’t been on here in a while, but I’ve finally washed myself hair to toes, and feel like I’ve been rebirthededed.

From these tweets, you’ll soon enough find out that (a) I get bored easily and (b) I say a lot of random stuff, even resorting to making up my own words. I hope you can still love me and forgive me for this little display of foolery.

Now that I’m up to speed, how have you all been?

Take care,
Beez

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Observations: From the Outside Looking In

Welcome to the Monochromatic Circus. Weekends off (except during busy season).

I’m not in it for the money- I figured that out a long time ago.

But in this (almost) constant state of unemployededness, a word I just made up, I have to wonder: did I make the right choices? Am I still making them? Did I just eff up completely, with no chance for recovery? Why didn’t I get my $200 for passing GO? I’m after you Monocled Monopoly Man…

During a quick day trip to Chicago’s downtown during rush hour last week, I saw people. People in suits, running for cabs. People stopping to chat with acquaintances while waiting to cross busy intersections. A woman in a suit power walking in her flats, clutching a pair of Cole Haan pumps in one hand, a Blackberry in the other. I can only wonder what she’s discussing– continuing work though she’s left the office? Dinner reservations at an overpriced restaurant with mediocre offerings, that she dines at mostly for convenience? Plans with the girls for happy hour, possibly to discuss the latest happenings? Perhaps, she just wants to finally be home, where she can curl up with her dog and a nice book, and not worry about the tailored look for a few days.

Turning the corner, I saw people dressed in their Casual Friday best, sucking down lethal concoctions of Starbucks espresso combined with more sugar than one needs in a week, during the late hours of the afternoon. I wondered if that has any effect on their sleeping schedule. Do any of them have kids, or do they live the DINK (double income, no kids) way? Do they live a “Hakuna Matata” type of lifestyle, and not save for what could happen to their job security, believing, they’ll be forever “recession-proof?” Considering I don’t have much of any schedule myself, I couldn’t help but to wonder their secrets. I also wondered, once I became part of the employed world, if I would be able to mold myself into one of those said people- if I could change who I am for the purpose of being employed, or if I’d even need to. Can I be the definition of a diverse workplace? 🙂

Do (or did) they spend countless hours like me, poring through job announcements over job announcements? Have they ever been in a position like mine, where prayer for even the right direction, has become a constant? How do you lock yourself in a career, one that ultimately defines you, so soon? I think that though I am brave, I am fearful. Fearful of becoming something I’m not quite sure that I am. Fear to me equals being put into something definable. A label. Do I want to be “Beez, the accountant” or “Beez, the teacher” or “Beez, from HR”? Could I live with the consequences of packing everything that I own right now, and moving to a place I’ve never lived before, just to search for the answers to these questions?

My lease is up in a month and three days. I have no job, no real source of income, and a desire for all that I am destined to become. The hunger residing within me is often a source of encouragement and discouragement, all at the same time. Whatever happens next, I know it will be a supreme leap of faith. My life kind of depends on it. I liken myself to an autumn leaf- always moving, never quite sure of the final destination, but I play in the wind along the way, and hope that someone can find something to do with me once I get there. I am optimistic of the outcome, or perhaps of the possibility of attaining outcomes. I long to have choices. I long to have a purpose. I hope that once I get out there, that I don’t find out the bitter truth: that success, in that world, just may be defined by the price of the clothes you wear.

–Beez

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