Tah’d

Yep… That's me (a rare self-portrait-enjoy!). Tah'd as all get out. No energy. I don't want it, but I sure need it, if not for anything else but to get through another day. One day soon, though, rest will be here. Until then, help me Gaga.

So much to do, and not enough blog to share. What's a Beez to do? Hope your weeks have been well.

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Test Run: Let’s See if Blogger will Let Me Be Great!

*peeks in*

If anyone can read this, it means that I've FINALLY learned the secret to mobile blogging. I know, I know, I've been quite neglectful lately *sweeps up cobwebs* BUT, I have been mighty busy.

*straightens couch cushions*
Work has been interesting, for lack of a better word. Tax season is in full swing, and I've been getting the hours to prove it. Except for the whole getting sick thing that's been happening as of late, I've been keeping pretty busy.

Last week I had a stomach bug that apparently got most of the office. Queasy central. Yesterday I woke up with no voice and ended up going to work anyway, only to be taken home immediately. I'm supposed to be there today, but was forbidden from leaving the house… WOMP. 😐

The food pantry's fluorishing, hooray! I'm quickly learning the art of "not acting like I have to run everything while running everything"-ism. People are getting fed, needs are being met, and I just feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Raht nah.

If you can see the picture, this brings me back to simpler times…before SNOWPOCALYPSE. I'll work this out soon.

–Beez

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The Holidays Have Begun…

Hello everyone!

So… it’s that special time of year, when kids have visions of overpriced, underwhelming toys in their heads, and parents have to fight tooth and nail in crowded stores to appease their brats, only for some bearded weirdo in red to steal the thunder. Seriously, though, the Christmas season is one of my favorites! I kind of feed off of the energy of others, and because I’m a perpetual 5-year-old, I’m sliding all over the place in anticipation of, well… nothing. I have my footie pajamas and my Snuggie , so I have no complaints. However, though, I would like to start some sort of exchange. An exchange of ideas, if you will… What kind of gifts do you like to give/receive? What is the best/worst gift you’ve ever given or received? Do you have any interesting holiday stories? I’ll be sharing some of my favorite holiday memories over the next couple of weeks, going into the year 2010 (gasp! where has the time gone?)…

For starters, though, I’d like to highlight some gifts that probably won’t give you any merit with any special women in your life… just saying.

Ahh… the Booty Pop. For the women who need a little, *ahem* pop in the back. Not for those who wish to truly experience a state of Bootyliscious-ness.

Here is a commercial for the most suggestive thing I’ve seen since the foot cleaner that comes with the Body Snake:

Don’t fret, ladies. There’s one for us too:

Now, the whole family can get their arms toned… for legs and the rest of the body, consult a gym or something.

Seriously, people, don’t buy these for anyone as a serious gift. I’ll be back soon to spread more tales of holiday snortles.

-Beez

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On the Road…

Hi all!!
I’m currently in Tulsa, OK (pronounced “TOASTAH, OAWKRAHOMOAH” as I’ve heard from the locals.) I stayed the night with my friend and her baby en route to us making it to San Angelo, Texas, where a family will be reunited! As the song states, I believe it will feel so good. After that, I’ll be on the train back to IL, finally returning on Sunday.

Going along Route 66 has been interesting. Toy museums, the Precious Moments (remember the big-headed side profile kids?) Chapel, and other little roadside thingies have inundated our vision along the way, highlighted by breathtaking mountain and tree scenes. I’m sure I’ve seen about a million trees by now, and the colors have just been wonderful! I’m almost convinced that when Mr. Beez (who has yet to be named, or even brought into recognition, since he doesn’t exist.) decides to pop the question, I’m gonna insist on a fall-ish wedding. *end girly moment*

I hope you all are going well, and I’ll be sure to update you all either on the train, or once I return to the Midwest. I’m really hoping I don’t have a cold.

Preview for my next post: Three’s Company.

Love you all!
–Beez

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Beyonce = Toddler Exercise Regimen: All The Single Babies!

Hi there!

I wanted to post this yesterday, but I got involved with some other things. Life is looking up, things are falling into place, and I’m peachy! 🙂 I hope that you all can say the same.

Anyway, there’s a new toddler drug out there. If your little one is exposed to it, he or she may be subjected to the following:

*toe tapping
*head bobbing (you know most babies have big heads, watch out for them)
*arm jiving
*body wiggling
*baby bouncing (that dance that’s more of a plie and releve over and over to the beat)

For your convenience, I’ve offered a few videos of what to look for. Don’t be alarmed if your toddler gets too involved. Just turn off the TV, and their mood should mellow out after a while.

This is not a seizure. Do not treat the babies as such.

Seriously, though, weren’t they cute? I hope they brought a smile to your face. Also, I’d like to congratulate my buddy Assertive Wit on her first baby, born last weekend. I hope your Babybottoms offers you a couple of jigs once her motor control’s on lock!

Talk to you all soon,

Beez

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Roommates (or flatmates) and Sesame Street

I’m sure you’re wondering how the two go together, like peanut butter and ladies… but that’s what I’m here for. I’ve been contemplating the idea of possibly having a roommate. I know that it is ideal for cost-splitting purposes, and all that jazz, but I honestly prefer my own space. I’ve lived alone for 3 years and love the freedom it offers: Freedom to have people over when I want to, freedom to be a big lazy blog when I feel like it and have no one to blame but myself, freedom to walk around starky nakey as comfortable as I needed to be when I felt like it, and not worry about it, and all that good stuff. I’m convinced a roommate would wreck my flow (word to Darius Lovehall). Exhibit A (will explain):

Red nosed jerky face… [photo from muppet.wikia.com]

So I was watching Sesame Street (one of my favorite shows to this day) with the little’un, and I came across this classic Bert and Ernie bit, where Ernie decides he can’t sleep, and wakes the whole hood up because of his insomnia.

What a jerk, right? So I was watching and tweeting (don’t try that at home) about how I used to want to live on Sesame Street as a wee one (and kind of still did), yet I realized most of them would be bad neighbors. Following are said tweets, which really put some things into perspective for me:

• I used to wanna live on Sesame Street as a kid. They do errthang there. #FACT I still do.

• Except I got a list of ppl I couldn’t live next door to. Elmo’s Public Enemy #1.

• All that 3rd person speaking makes me uneasy, and a black guy voices him. #SUSPECT

• Bert and Ernie engage in too many shenanigans (not to mention their lifestyle)**, and Oscar’s like the hoodrat of the street.

• Since Grover and Kermit disappeared, where the normal Muppets at?

• Shoot, I can’t even live next door to the Count, after the Chapelle joke.

• Telly whines too much, with his scary ask. Him and that Baby Bear.

• My childhood has been tainted. Darn you, Sesame Street.

Yep… all of that. From my brain. In 140 characters or less. I’m a mess. I thought that was part of my intro, though. If not, I still am. 🙂

So, while realizing how much of a douchebag Ernie is, I realized that he is the prototype of the “bad roommate.” He’s loud (as evidenced by his sheep tapping antics), boisterous, and just plain inconsiderate at times. I dunno how/why Bert put ups with it… I mean, seriously, how long could you put up with a roommate (I switch between this and flatmate because of how E & B actually share a room, but in other cases, I’m leaning to flatmate or housemate now.), who’s even a bad influence to the kids? Won’t someone think of the children?!?!?

Fool. Bert has no voice in this household.

And if it’s bad enough that Ernest T. Muppet (yeah, I just decided to go ‘head and give him a gub’ment name) is a bad influence to the kids and is a mess, he even invites the neighborhood to help him engage in said shenanigans, often without giving his “buddy” Bert any kind of notice. I mean, what are you supposed to think when you walk into something like this?

So, we just have reggae parties in the bathtub all willy nilly, literally shaking the place up? Plus, it seems like Ernest has no source of income, so Bertram (as I’ve now decided to call Bert) should give him the boot. Some say Bert is Evil, but I’m inclined to think that that saxophone playing, duck whispering, life enthusiast drove him to it. Move them pigeons in.

In fact, Ernie’s only saving grace is that he knows cool people like Aaron Neville. That said, it isn’t enough, and I couldn’t live on Sesame Street, especially in the same building with these characters…

*Note from TheBeez: This was a much needed escape from reality. Thanks to all who read, and I just may continue this series!

**Those of you not familiar w/Twitter, I only have 140 characters, and have to put a much needed NTTAWWT after that. Besides, it was based on the Family guy skit, which we know has no weight in the real world.

Keeping spirits high,

Beez

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