Confessions of a Master Procrastinator

Eh. I’ll do it later.

I’m working on being a work in progress.
“How can that be?” you say. Well, I haven’t quite gotten to the point of being a work in progress, because I have a lot to work on before I get there. Today, I will let you in on one of my most defining characteristics, yet it’s a hidden shame of mine.
I am a master procrastinator. I finally came to terms with it last week as I was composing my term paper for a class. After some discrepancies about the due date, I realized I had 48 hours to complete, and fell asleep the night I was going to start. The next night, I stared at the blank Word document, switched between that and my outline for hours, and decided I needed another nap.
8 hours later, I set out to really begin the paper. I stayed positive, in that “10 pages is only 5 single spaced!” kind of way. I soon realized that I didn’t want to do it in the first place. Then, I noticed a spot on the window that was bugging me.  The paper got submitted, TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE DEADLINE. And I went back to sleep.
Why do I enjoy these hair-pulling moments? I don’t know, but for some reason, I can plan, and I mean well with the plans, but it just doesn’t go past that. I decided to compile a few of my favorite ways to procrastinate.
Clean like the merriest of maids: I don’t clean very often. I usually don’t have to, except when it comes to my room. When the hours are winding down to a big assignment, though, I pull out my toothbrush and start detailing baseboards like nobody’s business. That spot on the window I mentioned earlier? Led to me vacuuming the living room, washing dishes, and reorganizing the silverware drawer. Get like me.
Catch up on video games: I have a Wii. Best thing ever, and worst thing ever. I downloaded the Ocarina of Time (a Zelda game for N64), and when I started this class nine weeks ago, promised I wouldn’t play until finals were over. I made good on that promise until that day, when I remembered that I hadn’t beat the Shadow Temple Boss, and got to WERK! Yeah, I’m horrible, but I’m that much closer to beating Ganondorf and restoring the Triforce. You mad.
Cook: I’m always cooking something. I told y’all, Paula Deen is my play granny. Just made up a taco dip recipe a few days ago that was a hit. But anyway… The morning I woke up determined to start, I had my orange juice next to me, and said to myself, “I can’t start without a well balanced breakfast! Besides, I’ll have energy to complete the day!” I ended up making a mushroom and cheese omelet, which led me to my last favorite way to procrastinate…
Sleep: Yep. I got got by the itis. That omelet put me out like I had been drinking heavily at Spring Break. Sure, it was only for about 40 minutes, but it SHOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED! I always realize how sleep deprived I am when I have something important to do. Luckily, this doesn’t happen at work, but still… I’m a mess and a half.
Welp, there we have it. I didn’t include infomercials and Twitter, because I figured by now, you know about those welcome distractions.
Do any of you struggle with Extreme Priority Displacement Syndrome, as I call it? How do you manage your EPSD? Do you manage it, or do you just say “Meh! I’ll get it later.” Tell me about it.
I’ll Make the Sprinkles Later,

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