Gosh, I’m Horrible (But I’m Back With Presents and a “This Is It” Review!)

*walks to empty stage*
*picks up microphone*
*taps it a couple of times*

Hello… anybody there?

*hugs world* *pouty face, bats eyelashes*
I know, I have some ‘splainin to do, but with good cause. I will now attempt to give you a quick-kind of update of the past few weeks:

This Is It- Beez’s Experience

I saw This is It, the highly anticipated movie of Michael Jackson concert footage, on Halloween weekend (creepy, right?). It was all that I expected and MORE! I saw a level of professionalism up close that Michael always seemed to exhibit anyway during his performances. I believe that that rehearsal footage would rival some of the best touring concerts right now. The vocals were on point, even when MJ said he was “holding back to save his voice.” Listening to him belt Human Nature while playing out his stage presence in the mix made me excited. Seeing him interact with his musicians, and watching him hold his own dancing with people half his age won me over. Seeing a style that made Thriller and Smooth Criminal new and improved, while keeping their original levels of awesome, made me stay until the end of the credits. And, of course, the title song weaved its way into the film.

All I can say is that the film was pure, unadulterated awesome. If you haven’t seen it in theaters, get it on DVD. Or come to watch it with me when I get it. It’s sooo worth it.

Life Changes

Oh.my.gawsh. Life is moving so fast right now! Moved from existence with the Mama and Baby Bear (friends of mine) to a 3 bedroom condo with two people I had never met until I signed the lease. So far, everything’s well. I can’t really complain much, especially since it saved me from homelessness, and once I start working steadily, I’ll be able to save AND pay off some past debts! *celebratory happy dance* Not to mention, I HAD A BIRTHDAY LAST SUNDAY!!! 11/22 marked the 24th anniversary of my mom pushing me from her vag (crude, I know), and I had a ball of a time, which involved kidnapping, cupcakes,blindfoldedness, footie pajamas, being shoved into random cars, Cirque tickets, a fall picnic, and Grape Drank. I’ll give more details at another time, but I just wanted to shout out the Fantabulous Five that made it all possible! My friends are truly awesome. All of them. Even you. *points at you*

In the meantime, I haven’t been lamenting my constant cycle of employment to unemployment. Instead, I finally made good on some of my words and decided to do something! Because of that, I picked something that hits pretty close to home: my church’s food pantry. Here’s a bit of backstory on that one– back in the day, when Beez was even more self-conscious than she is now, and when her family really needed it (this was before she was old enough to work and help out), her family used to go to a local food pantry. During the short walk there and back home with her mom, Beez would always be concerned about whether people would see her, and what they would think, even though where she grew up, EVERYONE had some kind of need. This year, when she did have gainful employment, she would always yearn to have the time to be able to help out. Now, she does.

I’ve learned so much serving the community this way, especially about this idea of gratefulness. I’ve often beat myself up about where I am right now, wanting something more, taking the moments that I have foregranted. But some of the people I serve would kill to be where I am right now. It really shows me that where you don’t want to be can be someone else’s perfect destination. Sometimes, I can really see the hurt in people, the despair, and all I want to do is know how I can make it better. I’ve had someone fill out an application and stop at times to sob. I’ve seen people that tear up when they learn that they’ll be able to feed their families for Thanksgiving. Everyone has a story as to why they are there. I’ve seen people who are able to get out of situations, and come back to serve where they once patronized, and I see beauty in all of this. Is is hard work? Maybe, but I don’t really see it as such, because it’s WORTH IT. Worth it to me, worth it to the people who stand in lines, and worth it to the families that go one less day without food because someone cared. I can only say it is a privilege and an honor to do such.

In addition, since I’ve been feeling this great pull towards service, I’ve been debating on attaining advanaced degrees for such. As of now, my plan is to get an MBA, perhaps coupled with a Masters in Law, in order to consult. I want to help companies that serve the underprivileged- a nonprofit/charitable consultant, perhaps? That way, I can combine my mind for business with my heart for people and turn it into something that benefits the greater good. I’m actually quite excited about it, and plan to get applications in really soon! *beams*

So with this, I offer my apologies. You all are great, and although I don’t comment as much as I read, you all have a special place in my heart. I will try and keep up with the bloggy updates in order to not inundate you with all of this information at once, but if you’d like, you can follow me on Twitter (which I just about update throughout the day), and keep up with me there!

Love you all,

Self photo, courtesy of Häagen-Dazs-Help the Honey Bees

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