In Memory of a Lost Art- Ode to the Jingle

Well, fair people, I’ve been taking up real estate on ol’ couchy for a while while the wheezing and sneezing subside. I realized at one point, though, how much the commercial jingle has been lost in the shuffle between “HeadOn, Apply Directly to the Forehead” and “Stinky! Stinky! Stinky! Hefty! Hefty! Hefty!” repetitiveness. Anyway, in the midst of hacking my lungs up and feeling like I swallowed a thousand ticklers, I began to compile what is, in my opinion, some of the best commercial jingles- EVARR!! *cue dramatic lighting and music, a la “Who Wants to be a Millionaire* In addition, I’ll add them for your viewing pleasure.

[Ruckus Voice] Sing along, if ya know the woyds. [/Ruckus Voice]

11. My Buddy/Kid Sister: If you’re too young to know what these are, think of a nicer Chucky doll. that is, if you’re old enough to know about the “Child’s Play” series… Oh, the 80’s. I can’t say I know of anyone who had a My Buddy, or Kid Sister. Seemed kind of… off.

10. Next up on our journey, the one, the only… Light Brite! I used to want one of these baaader than Michael Jackson was in the subway station. Glad I didn’t get one, lest I would’ve been disappointed to see Christmas lights and black construction paper…

9. and 8. These oldies but goodies go to good old board games, that I happened to remember off the top of my head. Remember when game commercials basically gave you the instructions in the jingle?

*crickets* No? Well, here’s Perfection and Twister, to either jog your memory, or learn ya something… Remember the word jog for the next one….

7. Now, remember when I said to remember jog? Well, I lied about jogging. The next one is all about skipping… it! I still imagine my parents knew best by not gettting me one, considering my state of hopeless clumsiness. Beez + Skip It! = Playground Fatality. In a nutshell.

But the very best thing of all- there’s a counter on this ball!

6. You’re not fully clean unless… your towel has awesome snapping power. Enjoy!

5. Getting hungry? I thought so. Between me and you, I think the other kid had the right idea… dang peer pressure. He didn’t want to be one- why is that so bad?!?

4 and 3. Before Stride enlisted the aid of goats to get people to spit out their long lasting gum, they used to just, well, kiss it out! That, or go parasailing.

“Take a sniff, pull it out”– seriously? They let this air?

2. If you’re ever questioned about shenanigans you may or may not have engaged in, pull out some of these suckas. Everyone will understand.

Nope, still looks like you sat in wet paint. Idiot. You WILL NOT get the job.

1. And here’s my all time favorite jingle… the only one that counts is number 1, right? The others are in random order, but here’s my top. I hate the candy, but love the jingle. It’s so sweet and endearing (probably the opposite of Beez, but who’s counting?) With no further ado, Tootsie Roll!

Too bad whatever it is I think I see does not become a Tootsie Roll to me. Life would be sweeter, no pun intended. Hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane, and if you’d like to enlighten me, let me know some of your favorite jingles! Maybe this can keep going!

Take care,

P.S.- Shouts out to Mika, who is the first person to subscribe to the BeezHive. Won’t you be my neighbor too?

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