Optimism Wins!

For some reason, that has become my new “unofficial” catchphrase. Why? Because I’m being my own cheerleader, and eff what anyone else has to say. The slump is over, but in the meantime, I’m keeping myself occupied until the next big thing comes along… For the time being, I’m gonna get immersed:

  • Couch to 5K- I read about this program on Cool Running, and found a site here that explains it in depth. Basically, you’ll be ready to do a 5K (3 miles and some change, I hear) in about 9 weeks if you follow it 3 times a week. I downloaded a podcast that’s set to music and lets you know when to walk and when to run, so it’s pretty easy to follow. So far, I’m on day 2 of week 2, and foot cramps are grinding my gears. Maybe I’ll repeat it next week. I may be in shape to do the Chicago 1/2 marathon in September! 🙂
  • Still applying for jobs, everywhere I can think of ( and you too!). Seriously, I won’t mind the 50-11 “no’s” I get, especially when that “yes” comes in. I’ll just be hoping that it comes soon!
  • Keeping myself occupied otherwise. Getting back into the blogging thing, and still trying to figure out Twitter (how nice that they let you change your handle, per availability!), and have synched Twitter with the blog- hooray! Still watching the little munchkins, and I’ll start involving myself with church activities too! Anything’s better than doing nothing. I learned the hard way how detrimental that is. Nuh-uh. I’ll take a pass on that one, Alex.

If you know of any other ways to keep me busy, or if you’re in the same predicament and have some ways to cope, let me know! Hope to hear from ya!

Besides…


I’m gonna make it after all!

–Busy Beez

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Let The Slump Begin!

Looks like I’ve officially hit that point- the point of slumping. For the last [x] months, I’ve been out there wishing and hoping and thinking and praying (with no Psychic Friends involved) that soon, I’d get a callback. So far, not even an interview call has come my way. Then again, neither has the rejection letter, in some cases. Rejection emails, I’m learning, are quite the popular item these days: “Dear Beez, we have reviewed your application, and we decided not to offer you a position/ to finally respond to you after 3 months and tell you the position has been filled/ any variation that basically seethes of ‘you’re not worthy’. Get thee away.” I don’t have enough experience, but I have too much. I’m hot- and I’m cold. I’m good, but I’m bad. Le sigh. What’s a Beez to do?

I don’t have an issue with pride or anything, at least not a significant one (sidenote: Beez has flipped burgers overnight at the arches while slinging McAlister’s Sweet tea during the days, rigfter graduation). I just need some kind of cash flow to make things happen. I’ve filled out applications, locally, un-locally, private, public, nonprofit, for profit, eenie, meenie, miney, and moe. One of the latest rejections to add to the list:

What? We don’t want her either!

Seriously, I’ve been trying my best to stay optimistic. I’ve taken up trying to run again (after asthma scared me from even trying for 4 years), working on my novel (shout out to Brian Griffin. I really don’t have one.), and generally, searching through acres and acres of job listings, trying to convey to people that they want me, without actually using those words. I’m sure that those bright days, and sunny times, and children singing in circles holding hands will come, but I guess my question would be, “When?” Until then, I just feel… without a purpose. The “5w’s +h” (shout out to 5th grade English) of life keep crossing my mind, and it’s starting to show itself visibly, which usually means there’s a lot more of it going on than normal.

I guess I should be used to rejection, because I’ve experienced it on quite a few levels (middle child sarcasm, I suppose), but at the same time, it leaves me wondering what my next steps are. Collecting from the man just isn’t my thing- especially when I know I can do some of these other jobs out there. Just give me a chance, and I can show you better than I could ever say (note: Beez gets the job done. Usually right. Usually the first time. End of story). Rejection still feels bad though- in all phases. One day, I’m sure there’s someone out there that’ll say “yes,” but until then, I’m just counting the “no’s” (in the style of Toucan Sam)… even made a special folder in the inbox for them. When I do land that big gig (love the rhyme, don’t you?), I can one day look back on this and giggle a little.

I apologize if this all seems disjointed, but I kinda feel that way. My brain is hurty. I’ll work on this whole being sad thing and hopefully wake up in the morning a bit better. Until then, if you have a job for me, LET ME IN!!!

… pretty please?

–Beez

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(That’s Just) Everyone’s Baby Daddy

Oh, people, I swear sometimes, this news just comes to me, like an epiphany (shouts to Chrisette)… Anyway, there’s a guy in Tennessee who’s been making his rounds, literally. Desmond “Fertile the Turtle” Hatchett, all of 29 years old, had a pretty rough day in child support court. Rough only because he had 11 appearances, due to cases for 15 of his 20 (on paper, but may just be 21) children…

Here’s the link to the story.

[Lil Jon Voice] WHATTTTTTT?!?!? [/Lil Jon Voice]

Just to give you a recap of some of the facts gathered:

  • 21 kids, in Knoxville TN (Just make sure you get a goooood look at the pic below, ladies, if you happen to travel there.)
  • Works a minimum wage job, and by TN law, child support can’t take more than 50% of his paycheck, which after divvied between a billion 20 something kids, leaves the mothers with less than a whopping $2 a month. What can you feed a child with that?
  • The children’s ages range from newborn to 11 years old. Turtle was definitely gettin’ it poppin’ (and not like Mr. Brown). He even claims that he had 4 kids in one year- twice. *Why, Lawd… Why???* His only explanation? “It just happened.”
  • Sir Fertileness also states that he is done having children. Why, pray tell, could he have not been done, hmm, about 15-19 births ago?

Facts Stuff I gathered based on this “evidence”:

  • He’s not very bright. And now he’s the babydaddy of Knoxville.
  • The women he procreated with weren’t very bright, either. How do you sit, stand, or lay with a man that you know has enough kids to make up 3 Quidditch teams? **for those unfamiliar with Potter, Quidditch teams usually have 7 players, pre-injuries.** For real though, he couldn’t have sat next to me on the bus, or paid for lunch. Get thee away, ol’ Professional Copulation Expert!
  • Times like these make me kind of understand why some folks push for sterilization so passionately. When all you can offer as an answer is “It just happened,” you should have had the right to knowingly or unknowingly create children ages ago.
  • Our sense of family is seriously on the decline. We need to get better, world.
  • The real victims in this: the children. 🙁 Their standard of life will always be shortchanged, since I’m sure (not being a jerk about it, but just saying) none of the parents involved have past a high school education- hence the reason that Dad works minimum wage and can only give you 2 bucks a month to split with your brother. Mom’s probably working about the same rate, so who foots the bill? We already know who… I pray that their lives turn out better than what I assume will be.

Who that ee-uh?
That’s just errrbody baby daddy!

Consider this a Public Service Announcement.

Responsibly Yours,
Beez

PS- Happy Birthday to my little buddy Ollie, who’s celebrating her 1st birthday today!!

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Celebration of Love Stuff

Lately, I’ve seen people write letters to their future children and whatnot. They remind me of the letters I wrote to my former self, in the form of “Dear 13-year-old Beez, shut up. Stop being a smartarse. I love you. The End.” I realize one that I haven’t done is a letter to my future husband, whose identity is still unknown. This is only a test, but *sigh* here goes[*]…

**Please excuse all forms of sappiness that are soon to follow. I’m not very good at it, but it’s sap nonetheless, and I’m too hard for all that.**
Dear Mr. Guy

How did this happen? I have no idea at what point in my life I met you, and when that whole love thing with the birdies and violins and baby deer came about, but here we are. Are we really about to do this? I guess everything’s all in place, or things are as they should be, else I probably wouldn’t be ready to change my name to *insert your last name here, or hyphenated last name*. This love thing is crazy. I can’t say I’ve really had it happen before, but now that I’m here, I understand.

Right now, I don’t know you (or maybe I do and it’s not known that we will be together or something), but I pray for you every day. Not that you’ll magically Apparate or floo into my home and sweep me off of my feet and we can fly into the sunset, happy forever, but that you had (or will have) a good day. I like to start with the basics. Hopefully no one will make you want to cut the big toe off of their firstborn, and you will have a great day. If your day doesn’t go well, I pray that you at least have the strength in you to admit it, and take it to the Lord. See, I like a nice Christian guy, so Mr. *whoever you are*, you WILL have to have a relationship with God that’s more than, “Uh, I go to church on Easter.” **No offense to those of you who do, but not for my hubby- “As for me and my house…” (Joshua 24:15).**

Not only do I hope that you’re having a good day, but that each (okay, maybe not each one) event in your life helps prepare you to be a better husband… dare I say, even the best, for me! (yeah, I can be a jerk like that- let you have a crappy life so you treat me better.. I’m working on it though.) At the same time, I hope that I’m being prepared to serve as your wife. At this point I don’t even fully know what that means, but I guess that’s probably why we’re not –><-- there yet. I know that in due time we'll be ready for each other. But first I must warn you of what you will get into. My family will intimidate you. Some of them I haven't seen much of, but considering I'm the oldest granddaughter on both sides, my dad, brother, uncles, and cousins will hate you on principle. I suggest not looking them directly in the eyes, alternate between letting them win and lose arm wrestling matches, and just say you like Maull's BBQ sauce, even if you have no idea what it is. By being who you are, you should get nothing but love from my mom, and the occasional side-eye from my sister, but I've come to believe her eyes just got stuck that way, so just ignore her like I have been doing. When we meet the Florida family, don't ask them to repeat anything- you'll only get more confused trying to decipher it all. Just smile and nod, and figure it out later. I know sometimes I'll be a bear to deal with, especially with the baby pterodactyl noise I make upon waking up (it's my yawny voice!), but I'll try to make it as less of a bumpy ride as possible. I'll keep my lady hygiene products away from your line of vision, and keep the bathroom door closed when doing *ahem* personal things. I'll make you breakfast on my off days. I'll make time for you when you need me to, even if it is the last 10 minutes of Hell's Kitchen (the only 10 minutes worth watching sometimes). I'll suffer through making (and possibly eating) your favorites, though you know you've got a self-proclaimed "picky eater with exotic tastes." I'll learn to cook your favorite "mama dishes" if you don't like my spin, and I'll even get along with your mama. Most moms like me, but I imagine marrying into the family is a different kind of like. I'll see when we get there. I hope to make you as happy as you'll make me. If not, pull me aside so we can figure it out. I'm sure that this whole being married thing is something that'll require lots of maintenance- sort of like a well-maintained car runs better than the one that sits and rusts. Other than that, get ready for the ride. It'll be bumpy at times, and other times it'll be smooth. I'll even keep the random adventures to a minimum if it's not your thing. I can find a happy medium. Hopefully we'll get to see a bunch of cool places along the way- together. Bring a camera. 🙂 With all the love I can muster for a (known or unknown) stranger, Mrs. Beez *insert last name or my last with yours hypenated*
*flourish at the end of signature*
*XOXO*
*2 lovers + 2 gether= 4 ever (I went middle school on ya!)*

**End of le sap. Come back next time for something less sappy, like airplane fights!**

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Reflections…

I shall be brief. Wuzzah!

Oh what a weekend!! Well, since it’s graduation season, I attended some at my good ol’ Alma Mater, since I still live in the area. In the sea of blue, I got memories of my own last year. In the midst of all of the family drama, anxiety, and sleep deprivation, you feel a sense of accomplishment and thankfulness. Seeing some of my best friends (and even those that I know that aren’t my bestest of friends, but good people nonetheless) cross the stage, all smiles, made me feel happy for them. I understand that while our journeys to that point may have differed, they all ended with the same thing: a handshake and a degree (not to be confused with a diploma, you know). I understand, and hope you now realize, that those all nighters, tears, and stressful points were now worth it. For those of you that are not quite finished (yep, you August and December, or even later, grads), keep on pushing. Don’t let that whole “finishing on time” concept hold you back. What the heck does that mean anyway? Your time is your time. End of m.f’ing story.

I wish you all of the success that you can take, and even then, a little dash more, because from here, you can do all things! I pray that each of you are safe and well in whatever the next steps are from you, and if you happen to see me on the street looking unkempt, that you will let me borrow $5. I’m good for it.

Take care, and Congratulations Class of 2009!!!
*celebratory booty dance, a la Riley Freeman*


Don’t toss those hats too far. You know those are rented! 🙂

XOXO,
Beez

P.S.— You can exhale now. It’s over!
P.P.S.– I know you’re excited, but in your facebook/myspace/twitter/whatever accounts you use, please don’t call yourself an “alumni” of *insert your school here*. You can be an alumnus or alumna of said school, but alumni is plural. Unless you have more personalities than you usually talk about, please use the correct term graduates! :*)

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Monday Funnies (It is Monday, Right?)

If you haven’t heard about this site, I feel it’s my civic duty to inform your booty about Texts From Last Night, a site that is similar to F My Life, where people tell anecdotes of the crappy genre, all ending with the abbreviation FML, short for “F*** My Life.” Fellow readers can then rate how f***ed said person’s life is, based off of the submitted story. Sometimes, I wonder how valid they are, and whether people just make some of these stories up to get a laugh…

Okay, back to the point.

You’ll find similar fare at “Texts…” but these are in the from of drunken text messages, and feature the phone number of the senders. Some prime gems taken from that site include:

  • (949): Do you think “I had sex with my co-worker last night I don’t think I can come in today” is a good excuse?
  • (913): I hope I’m pregnant just to spite you.
  • (517): he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.

(231): better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.

  • (386): it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
  • (847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night…and he didn’t stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that’s not the point.

Readers get to grade these based off of what kind of night you think the sender had…

That’s all for now.

–Beez

P.S. I am not pregnant, and will not post this to spite you 🙂

**Edited to add: I just realized it was Tuesday. I really need to find a job or something. The title STAYS, regardless! Don’t judge me. 🙂

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Free Chicken- Where do They Get it From?

Well, world, after seeing a rapid influx of chicken promotions from places besides Church’s (where you could ALWAYS get a meal that fed a family of 4 for 2 nights at $2.99), I am maybe one of the few that wonder- what chickens are they using? Where did they get so many from, to offer promotion after promotion? Most importantly, what are they putting in it to make people so darn crazy about it?!?

Exhibit A:

“You mean to tell me we can’t feed our kids?”
-Well, Beez sez with that 5 bucks you could get a pack of drumsticks from the store, season it to your own level of perfection, cook it yourself, buy some fruit for dessert, and still have change. Said children will still be fed– and they bet’ be happy.

Exhibit B:

“That’s false advertisement!”
“Two weeks ago they didn’t have the special either.”
“That’s ok, we’ll go to KFC!”

-I’m not an expert on media, but what did you notice about those videos? I mean, besides the horrible puns such as “crying fowl” and laughing reporters? Yeah, you saw it.

Exhibit 3 (yeah, I know I started with letters)


Note: No dignity necessary to redeem.

Alas, Beez got curious after an influx of facebook statuses to the effect of “Oprah shole’ got a big heart- she givin’ out free chicken, y’all!” , I stumbled upon this website, offering 2 pieces of fresh out the microwave grilled Kentucky Grilled Chicken, with two sides and a biscuit- a $3.99 value- take that Popeye’s! Y’all can’t even keep a tractor trailer in the back with chicken on ice- now the Colonel (R.I.P) has teamed with the most powerful force in the world, the Oprah (formerly known as Orpah) of Harpo Studios, who can rapidly change consumer habits, and “has the power to lay waste an entire industry with a mere utterance.”*

After deciding with the partner in crime (who will not be named due to Beez not getting her waiver out on time-blast!), that we would indeed taste and see if the chicken was grilled, and as a side note, good. The line was going pretty fast, but a woman who entered after us was more than excited for this deal. Among her shenanigans:
She asked a worker there, “Were y’all ready for this?”
Poor confused chicken boy: *shrugs shoulders*
Happy chicken lady: “Well, y’all shoulda been prepared! We ready to eat!”

As she got ready to order: “If you don’t have grilled chicken, I’ll take fried. I just want chicken!”

After our number was called, we bolted for the car, giggling like we stole something.

The verdict: Tastes baked. Or rotisseried. Whatever. It was free. Have fun!

In other news, I bought a Bible. Now I can learn how to be a work in progress (instead of just working on it.)

Next up: The cheap, cloned chicken theory (subtitled: How do you get such big pieces from Church’s for 50 cents?)
–Beez
*Gin Rummy, The Boondocks

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I’ve Been Tagged! *Insert some ridiculous consequence here*

So, most people know I don’t do forwards (at least in regards to e-mail or text messages) because I don’t believe that sending said message to 80 people will make the love of my life reveal himself to me. Then again, that hasn’t happened yet, so maybe I should give it a try… ?

Anyway, back to the point. I’ve been tagged by Rich of New Dolloian to do this, so I must follow protocol. Thanks a lot, Rich!

Here are the rules…

1. Respond and rework: answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your own invention, add one more question of your own.
2. Tag other un-tagged people.

The Questions:

What is your current obsession? Learning more about God’s promises.

Who was the last person you hugged? Hmm… good question.

What’s my favorite dinner? Chicken’s always nice.

What was the last thing you bought? A few groceries.

What are you listening to right now? Background TV noise… *checks TV* TMZ has a show now?!? I’ll be…

What is your favorite weather? Those days where it’s not too hot or cold outside, and you can just walk, or sit outside with a friend or loved one and just enjoy… being.

What is your least favorite season? Honestly, I’m not a fan of summer- especially those “dog days.” Long days + Heat = Uncomfortable Beez. Not cool. Don’t judge me though if I prefer to stay inside :*)

What’s in your purse? Wow, and on the day I carried one!! Well, let’s see… wallet thingy, pens, and a church program. Tomorrow’s purse may be different though.

Say something to the person/s who tagged you (Rich): I enjoy your hats, and your blog too! I would like to see more of both please! And if I ever find my way to Australia (which is on my top 5 to visit when I get a chance), I’ll ring you! :*)

What is your favorite tea flavor? Not really a tea person, unless they’re herbal. Tazo Passion tea is good. And Peach Zinger.

What did you want to become as a child? From the time I was 4, I wanted to be a doctor. First a pediatrician, then a dentist, then an orthodontist. I think I just loved my pediatrician, and in turn, wanted to be just like her (never mind that she would try and spell the word ‘shot’ when talking to my mom, and as I asked my mom “Why is she spelling shot? I can read, you know,” at 3, she figured I was pretty special. As my writing skills peaked (around 5th grade), I wanted to write children’s books on the side.

What do you miss? The innocence that childhood brings (well, in most.)

What’s your favorite brand of jeans? Whatever fits (both my buns and my budget) and makes my arse look nice. I’m not picky.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? Shibuyaaaaa!!!! I missed that segment of the Japan trip, and have heard great stories, so it’s part of the reason I want to visit Tokyo again anyways.

Who do you want to meet in person? On a whim, Hayden Panetierre, I figure she seems pretty cool in interviews and would probably be fun to talk to.

What are your most challenging goals right now? Finding a job, and figuring out what I want to do with my life.

What’s your 5 year plan? I would like to either have made my career goal or be on the track towards it (either on the job or education arena), be more financially stable, knock out a substantial portion of my student loans (which relies on the previous goal), have my first car (also reliant on that financially stable thing), be stronger in my faith (I’d certainly hope so!), and if the time is right, either be married or working towards that with a special guy who may or may not be known at this time :*) Not much.

Why is today special? Because I’m alive. And you’re here too, which makes it doubly special.

What is my favourite sport to watch? Basketball. To play? Does Wii sports count? I guess it does. My blog! 😛

What’s your favourite candy? Right now? I luuuurrrve those Chewy Lemonhead (and friends) made by Ferarra-Pan. If you love Lemonheads (and his friends), you get a whole box of Grape, Apple, Orange, Cherry, and Lemon! I’d prefer a box of all lemon for nostalgia’s sake, but this candy is the isssshhhht! :*)


Candy coated greatness. For reals.

Where do you do most of your blogging? My living room/dining room.

Describe your perfect day: Does a perfect day really exist? I’d say any day that doesn’t include my usual brand of shenanigans (or randomly ridiculous happenings) is as close to perfect as it could be. A kiss from the sun, a nice breeze, hugs from a friend, a good sandwich, would be the ingredients, I suppose. I don’t want to put more thought into this than needed.

8 BLOGGERS TAGGED (I don’t know 8 bloggers yet, so what do I do?!? Well, if you find it and you read it, please copy it and let me know… I’ll make you Rice Krispies Treats. That is all.

–Beez

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Oh, We’re Gonna Have Fun with This One…

… as soon as I get rested. For preview’s sake, I introduce to some and reacquaint with others… The Body Snake!!

Random foot-jolly getting contraption free with purchase.

Edits- 3:00 p.m.


Now that I’ve gotten a full morning’s worth of sleep, I can now comment on the ridiculosity known as the Body Snake…

  • Do we have to mention that it’s “Made in America” so many times? As if France or Germany has a problem with people who can’t reach their own backs and feet. An overindulgence of indulgencies, if you will.
  • I’m sorry, but if I have to choose between getting this to wash my feet in the shower or losing weight, I’m dialing *sings* 1-800-*insert year* JENNY! Nuh-uh. I can’t do this. That’s why the guy in the shower was frustrated. He hasn’t seen his feet since Good Times was canceled.
  • The foot cleaner- straight creepy. Looks like your foot is doing something, well, *ahem* inappropriate. Foot washing should be neither fun nor convenient. Don’t bring innocent loofahs into your kinkiness.
  • Like the teacher from South Park who doesn’t trust anything that bleeds for days and doesn’t die, I’m not buying that water will pass through this conniption and never mold. Washcloths: mold. Carpets: mold. Furniture: mold. Natty locks: mold.* Small children left unkempt: mold.** I think you get the idea… that thing will mold, and for $25 too!

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!
-Beez

*No offense to any of my locked brothers and sisters, just wanted to illustrate a point. If you keep yours clean and lovely, you are a lovely soul. :*)

**For moldy baby reference, click here.

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Random Songs I’m Diggin’

Good afternoon- or in Saturday speak- Good morning! :*)

This is a pretty quick post, just putting a couple of songs out there that I recently heard and instantly dug. If only I could really relate to the songs’ contexts, I’d say they were the stories of my life…

Epiphany – Chrisette Michele

Ms. Michele did her thing on this track. Nice production, hip-hoppy beat, where does she go wrong? I’ve been a fan of hers since her (as I call it) abstinence track “If I Have My Way.” *giggles* So looking forward to her album (also titled Epiphany), due out May 5th.


T.O.N.Y. – Solange

I never bought Solange’s CD, but the few tracks I’ve heard, this one included, seem pretty nice. Maybe I should go on and make that investment, eh? I included the video for this one because I didn’t really get the song until I saw the video. Bonus for Cee-lo and Kid Cudi cameos. Woo-hah!

Anyway, that’s all I wanted. Enjoy your weekend!!

–Beez

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