The “But Me” Conspiracy

Hi, all!!

Sorry for the extreme delay in posting. I spent a fantabulous (is that a word? oh, well, it is now) weekend in Chicago doing hoodrat stuff with my friends*, and had no internet access. For once, I was glad I didn’t! Started working out again (more on that at another time) and am slooowly packing up the old apartment. le sigh.

Now that we’re caught up, I wanted to explore something that’s been marinating in my mind, to see if anyone else gets caught up in, ads I call it, the “but-me” conspiracy. Most of my friends are in their 20s, an interesting time with lots of changes. Everyone’s lives are going haywire, and making progression towards the sort of “real adults” we’ll be one day. While some of us are just finishing school, others are going for round 2 or beyond, or tackling that super-cool occupation you’ve dreamed of since hitting the Quad some years ago. Some are just getting into relationships that may turn into more, while others are getting married, having children, buying homes, or enjoying timeshares. Crazy, isn’t it?

Confession: Sometimes, I feel caught up in the midst of all of these changes, and wonder why they aren’t happening to me at the rate of reproducing bunnies. Sometimes I’m quite thankful for it; other times, I’m just not sure why I’m happy they aren’t. I’m happy for my peers, but I guess I kind of want my time, too. My thought process sort of goes like this:

Everyone’s got something going great in their lives… but me.
Everyone’s got a great job… but me.
Everyone’s in a great relationship… but me.
Everyone’s getting married and starting great lives with someone who loves them… but me.
I’m a doofus, I swear. 😛

Of course I know that there’s a time and season for everything (as stated by Ecclesiates and The Byrds), and that I am not the exception to the rule ALL the time (though some of the time is quite questionable). I’ve come to the conclusion that I am simply not ready for all of that cool stuff, and when it’s my time, it’s my time. Besides, with all of the changes I’m contemplating at the time (moving, job hunting, perpetual broke-ness), where would all of that other stuff fit in my life? If I think I’m mad now, just think of how mad I’d be with another person to consider in all of these decisions

Yep. I’m better off right now without the hassle. In the meantime, I’ll just feed this (rented) fish and spread my love to the masses. I’ll keep myself ready for the big breaks, in all aspect of life Preparing for the king who’ll eventually sweep me off of my feet, and readying myself to meet the King of Kings when that time comes.

So anyway, I hope that this can be a bit of encouragement for those of you who live the “but-me” life a little more than I do. Just remember: you’re not on anyone’s timeline but your own. Live it as you see fit, and not according to anyone else’s schedule. Your “stuff” will come in time. 🙂

–Beez

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